Everlasting Relationships

Have you ever wondered what makes a good relationship? Why certain marriages fail and others flourish? Many of us can make predictions to these questions by reflecting on our previous and/or current relationships. But in the end what is the true secret to everlasting love? Is there a criterion that can predict happiness within a relationship? In a captivating new study scientists have answered a question many of us have pondered about. The research conducted concluded that lasting relationships come down to two basic traits in which many of us might have already guessed – kindness and generosity. The study of marriages commenced due to the crisis in the 1970’s when married couples were divorcing at unprecedented rates. Individuals were concerned …show more content…
What was captivating to me about his research was how Psychologists John Gottman gathered his data. His measuring variable included the use of technology, individuals were measured through their electrodes which provided the subjects blood flow, heart rates, and how much they perspired. This was a great form of evaluation to ensure information was not distorted. Gottman concluded that the more physiologically active the couples were in the lab, the quicker their relationships deteriorated overtime. This finding sparked my curiosity. I began to wonder if the participants that were physiologically active showing a form of flight-or-flight mode were aware of its presence. The study did not elaborate on the debriefing of the experiment amongst its participants however this would be an important item to further discuss and research. Debriefing could expose participant’s reasons for the arousal seen through its experiments and could possibly lead the experiment in a different direction. I would also bring into question the formation of the participant’s relationship, was their relationship a type of exchange or …show more content…
I focused on my emotions and feelings I felt when my significant other was in my presence. Even though this is not as effective as the technology used by Gottman I came to the conclusion that the best part of my day was when we were in the presence of one another. We’ve been in a relationship for almost 11 years and based on my experience the only thing that has changed within our relationship is the increase of our kindness and generosity to one another. The equity theory also applies within our relationship; we work, attend school and share household responsibilities. When there’s an imbalance often times this leads to issues that are then solved by communication. The lessons gained from my experience are in agreement to the data published by Gottman “if you want to have a stable, healthy relationship, exercise kindness early and