Consequences Of Anger In Marriage Relationship

In a relationship, it is inevitable that anger and conflict will arise, but what are the causes and consequences of anger in a marital relationship? It is significant to recognize that anger will affect the emotional wellbeing of each partner in unique ways depending on the individual. Another major aspect to consider within anger in a marriage is how it is affecting the children. Lastly, is it at all possible that any positives could come from showing anger in a marriage?
Definition of anger Before we talk about the consequences of anger, what even is it? In the simplest term, it is a reaction to any frustrations we have, but it is not just an emotion. There are also physical aspects to it. When someone is angry his or her heartbeat, blood …show more content…
For example, the roles in the relationship can cause feelings of frustrations because mothers tend to be in charge of childcare and household work and men are expected to provide for the family, but when mothers work, take care of the children, and do all the household work this tends to cause conflict (Ross & Van Willigen, 1996). Studies have shown that “mothers do an average of 76% of the child care for the household, whereas fathers do 36%” (Ross & Van Willigen, 1996). When couples have children it tends to increase the anger in each partner because there are more conflicts and more compromises to be made (Ross & Van Willigen, 1996). Mothers are twice as more likely than men to show anger when children are a part of the picture (Ross & Van Willigen, 1996). When couples do not resolve conflicts and anger between one another it can and will get worse (Martin, 1980). First anger can start out as hurtful words, nonchalantly wounding their spouse, but eventually it can turn into exhibiting aggression and violence, which lead to developing phobias, intense anxiety, and depression. This causes each partner to crush one another’s personal welfare and the overall destroy the affection the couple once had for one another (Martin, 1980). Once shots have been fired it just gets more difficult to fix all the damage that has been done in a …show more content…
First off, pure anger is when a person is upset and they admit to it and attempt to talk about it, trying to resolve the issue. Pure anger helps get a person to focus their attention towards the problem in a civilized manner. Anger is a normal behavior to express; even to the people we love (Gottman & Notarius, 1994). Gottman and Notarius have concluded that obstructive anger is showing aggression, irritation, dominion, and defensiveness towards your partner (1994). This type of anger leads to unhappy marital relationships leading to painful divorces. Instead thinking thoughts that will help diffuse your anger will improve the relationship. When your partner does something frustrating think of something optimistic rather than something demeaning. For instance, “When your partner is 45 minutes late for your anniversary dinner, thinking that "he 's probably caught in a terrible traffic jam" is much less agitating than "he never watches the time." or "he 's always putting other people before me," or "he 's just an inconsiderate jerk" (Gottman & Notarius, 1994, pg.1). Our thoughts lead to actions and when we think positively about a frustrating situation it will help each partner understand one another without attacking and assuming things, which ultimately make a bad situation even