14 Year Old Communication Dilemmas

Great Essays
In all parts of life, in any situation, one will come to experience a dilemma. A dilemma happens when two or more values, goals, or characteristics come in conflict. A communication dilemma happens when an individuals goals of having a certain preferred identity conflict with the communicative actions of that individual. In the Youtube video “14 year old stands up to his abusive mother for his rights and informed choice to live with his Dad” the woman has a communication dilemma when trying to be a good parent, her interactional identity of being an understanding mom comes in conflict with her personal identity of being controlling. The identity of an understanding mom is one that is calm and collected. This identity’s goals are to grasp …show more content…
In this video the woman altercasts the father (Caleb Leverett) as a bad parent. This happens when she tells Caleb, in line 201, “If you have issues that you want to solve, then you need to contact us. Not at 11:30 at night in a text message when you’re drunk. ” She is indirectly declaring him irresponsible. She is expressing that he doesn 't approach her in what she deems the correct way. She uses a tone when saying “when you 're drunk” that makes him appear careless, which is not a quality of a good parent. She has specific ways she would like to be consulted and any other way is not acceptable. She continues to alter cast him as a bad parent when she threatens his competence face. Competence face is a persons “desire to be seen as proficient and accomplished” (Peters, Lecture). She explicitly does this when she tells him “why don 't you voluntarily parent” (line 67). She is expressing that Caleb doesn 't parent out of want but because he has to. She says this in a way that portrays Caleb as someone who doesn 't care and is lazy. In doing this it makes the audience infer that Caleb isn 't a good and involved parent. When she alter casts and face threatens she is expressing how he doesn 't do things to her standards making her “way” seem like the best …show more content…
A main difference is if what they are communicating is direct or indirect. Directness has to do with style. The mother in this scenario is very demanding. Her speech includes a lot of directives, “acts in which one person attempts to get another to do something” (Tracey & Robles, 2013. Pg 173). Directives can vary in directness, ranging from performative to to imperative (I need you to do this. vs. Do this. ). The mother in this uses imperative and obligation direct statement directives when saying “you’re not going to yell at me” (lone 254), “you’re coming home one way or another” (line 125), and “you need to get your bottom out of the truck” (line 370). In each of these lines the mother is demanding something. She is being the most direct and therefore the most controlling. She is making it his obligation to do things by saying “you need to…”. She isn 't asking him how he feels or if there is any other option. She is telling him what he needs to do, and that it is going to happen whether he likes it or not. She is being very direct which coincides with her

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