There are a couple of places where the comma usage in this essay is not standard. Commas are a difficult form of punctuation for many people, and getting used to using them comes from writing frequently. Here are two places where commas would be expected, and I’ve included the rules (from Purdue OWL) for why they belong there. In both cases, the comma belongs in between the underlined words.
So, after reviewing the above essay and seeing how each paragraph contains a supporting idea that backs up your thesis, look at the following paragraph from your essay: “Supporters of a college education would argue that without a college degree you can barely afford the basics. According to the U.S. Bureau of Economic Affairs, the average wage of those …show more content…
As it is right now, it says that people believe the value is more important. I think you’re trying to say that people value a college education, or that people believe that a college education is more important. Also, this sentence refers to the one before it, but they don’t quite agree with one another. Here are a few ways you can revise this section to make it stronger. Feel free to use one of them, a combination of different ideas, or your own version. I’m merely offering suggestions from my perspective; you should make it your own.
1. Some people think vocational classes are a good alternative to a college education, but other people believe a college education is more valuable.
2. Some people think we need better alternatives to a college education; other people believe college is the only choice that makes sense.
3. Some people value having alternatives to a college education. Other people value a college education above all other choices. “…it is hard to payoff the debt without any savings to help”
A payoff would be an amount of money required to complete a transaction, such as, “What is the payoff amount for my car loan?” If it’s not used in this context, pay and off are two separate words, and need to be written as
So, after reviewing the above essay and seeing how each paragraph contains a supporting idea that backs up your thesis, look at the following paragraph from your essay: “Supporters of a college education would argue that without a college degree you can barely afford the basics. According to the U.S. Bureau of Economic Affairs, the average wage of those …show more content…
As it is right now, it says that people believe the value is more important. I think you’re trying to say that people value a college education, or that people believe that a college education is more important. Also, this sentence refers to the one before it, but they don’t quite agree with one another. Here are a few ways you can revise this section to make it stronger. Feel free to use one of them, a combination of different ideas, or your own version. I’m merely offering suggestions from my perspective; you should make it your own.
1. Some people think vocational classes are a good alternative to a college education, but other people believe a college education is more valuable.
2. Some people think we need better alternatives to a college education; other people believe college is the only choice that makes sense.
3. Some people value having alternatives to a college education. Other people value a college education above all other choices. “…it is hard to payoff the debt without any savings to help”
A payoff would be an amount of money required to complete a transaction, such as, “What is the payoff amount for my car loan?” If it’s not used in this context, pay and off are two separate words, and need to be written as