Chemo Monologue

The words just kept running through my mind. “The chemo is not working as well as we hoped, we need to make a decision. Increase chemotherapy or stop it all together.” As a forty year old women, that’s not the words you want to hear. Cancer who ever thought it was going to happen to me. I just can’t sit in the doctor’s office anymore. I need out. I need to go home, spend time with my kids, my husband. The doctor is talking so much, and everything sounds like blah, blah, blah. He finally ends his long speech about choosing what option would be best for me and tells me I need to choose by tomorrow. Finally it’s time to go home, and get into my comfy bed and forget the world. I arrive home, and head straight to bed. I cannot look at my husband’s …show more content…
“I am death.” He replied in a serious manner. “Death?” I had to question it. Why would death care about me, I am an ordinary person just too young to die. “Yes, death. I am here to talk to you, about your situation. Choosing to fight the cancer with all the pain, or living the rest of your life in peace.” I thought seeing death would make me more fearful, and nervous. It was just the opposite it made more calm and at …show more content…
I am so young, and have family that needs me.” Death needs to know how I feel, I needed to know why me. “Death does not discriminate, it does not care how old you are. Death will happen to all, in its own time. Everyone has a family, someone left behind. Death may be scary, but it brings peace to some and answers to others. Questions of course are left behind, but people grow after losing a love one.” That is not the answer that I wanted to hear. I wanted to hear “Sorry, wrong person.” I knew that was option was extremely rare but better than that. “I cannot give up on my family, death. I can’t leave my kids behind. I live a life for others, and what will they do when I’m gone.” Tears just pouring down my face. “They will live their lives, yes it will be hard. In this situation, what is best for you? The chemotherapy was extremely hard of your body the last time, can you handle it again? I am not here to make this decision for you, I am here to make death easier.” “This decision is too big, I can’t make this choose on my own. I want help. I can’t choose between my family, and my