RECOMMENDATION: 3 out of 10. There is no action until page 7. That is were the story starts.
CONCEPT: A new twist to the old journey story.
LOGLINE:
PLOT: Nora’s first day at the retirement home is not happy experience. She curses Kenny for forcing her to leave the security of her home. She feels abandoned and doesn’t believe any body loves her or will miss her. She cons Edna that they new each other years ago and starts a conversation about nothing that leads to an escape plan. During the next few hours she try to persuade Edna to leave the retirement home. They discuss what they should wear, eat and where to sleep, but Edna is not totally impressed with the idea at first. Edna finally realizes that she hates the retirement home and agrees to run away. Now they hatch a plan to leave. They decide that walking out the front door is the best way. As they head for the door, the head nurse blocks their way because they don’t have a coat on not because she thinks they are about to escape. That realization deflates their motivation to escape. Back in the room they decide to ditch the plan because they are sad they don’t think anybody would miss them when they were gone. …show more content…
They have a want and a need. They both want to experience life to its fullest and need to be noticed.
DIALOGUE: The dialogue doesn’t reveal enough worthwhile information to push the story forward, but it did make me laugh. Too much black blocks of dialogue on each page.It’s a cute conversation between two old people rambling on about stuff a young audience would not care about or understand. The voice of each character doesn’t reveal anything new about them that merits the blocky dialogue. Each character sound the same.
PACE: Slow to moderately comedic at the
CONCEPT: A new twist to the old journey story.
LOGLINE:
PLOT: Nora’s first day at the retirement home is not happy experience. She curses Kenny for forcing her to leave the security of her home. She feels abandoned and doesn’t believe any body loves her or will miss her. She cons Edna that they new each other years ago and starts a conversation about nothing that leads to an escape plan. During the next few hours she try to persuade Edna to leave the retirement home. They discuss what they should wear, eat and where to sleep, but Edna is not totally impressed with the idea at first. Edna finally realizes that she hates the retirement home and agrees to run away. Now they hatch a plan to leave. They decide that walking out the front door is the best way. As they head for the door, the head nurse blocks their way because they don’t have a coat on not because she thinks they are about to escape. That realization deflates their motivation to escape. Back in the room they decide to ditch the plan because they are sad they don’t think anybody would miss them when they were gone. …show more content…
They have a want and a need. They both want to experience life to its fullest and need to be noticed.
DIALOGUE: The dialogue doesn’t reveal enough worthwhile information to push the story forward, but it did make me laugh. Too much black blocks of dialogue on each page.It’s a cute conversation between two old people rambling on about stuff a young audience would not care about or understand. The voice of each character doesn’t reveal anything new about them that merits the blocky dialogue. Each character sound the same.
PACE: Slow to moderately comedic at the