Carys Causing Issues In Relationships

In addition to their differences causing issues in their relationship, good characteristics of each person caused mixed reactions and feelings in the other. For example, Carys was a planner and always knew exactly what the next step was; whether it was in getting a job, planning a social event, or fabricating a lie to tell her mother about her whereabouts. Don really appreciated this about her because he did not have to worry about anything: Carys had it all figured out. At the same time, he was slightly annoyed at how carefully she thought through everything. He loved being spontaneous and even reckless at times with his planning.. His appreciation for her planning created a conflict because it did not fit his image of himself (Mixed blessings, …show more content…
They broke up for a time but eventually fell into a volatile on–again–off-again relationship for about two years. They did not know how to work out their issues because it was never modeled to them growing up. All they ever had seen was their parents having issues and splitting up rather than working it out. Carys’s mother had stood meekly by while her father abused the entire family which is why she didn’t know how to stand up to Don’s ideas about lifestyle or give him ultimatums about cheating on her. Don did not know how to be faithful in a relationship because all he remembered as a child was his father bringing strange women home late at night while his mother was away on business trips. Dysfunction in their parent’s relationships carried over and became painfully apparent in their relationship with each other. (Observational learning, Psych 101 …show more content…
She was hypersensitive to everything he did. She was always convinced that little things such as coming home five minutes late from work or going out with his friends without her was a sign that he was cheating on her again (Confirmation bias, Psych 101 principle). She had a “psychological allergy,” or a strong emotional reaction to mildly negative experiences such as these (A soft, sensitive spot, Page 67). Prior experiences in their relationship had influenced her deep fear of being abandoned by Don. When he would have to stay at work and not be able to call her to let her know because of his employer’s no cell phone policy, she would panic because of her intense fear of abandonment. One day Don ran into an old friend while at the store with Carys and she interpreted his happiness of seeing her as obvious flirtation and a sign that he was inappropriately interested in her ( “Don’t ever leave me,” Page 73; Confirmation