Abstract - Think of a more informative title to give your paper. You opening sentence for your abstract should be re-written as it is confusing about what you’re trying to say. Well done in being concise when summarising the major aspects of carotenoids in research. You should use more specific about what aspects of carotenoids you will be looking at - what do you mean by "new levels in chemistry and biology"?
Introduction - Should be made into one paragraph. At the start of the introduction provide a clear purpose of what your paper investigates, then move onto explaining carotenoids. You should also be a little more specific in this section about the "chemistry and biology impact". However, it is a good starting point for your introduction …show more content…
First paragraph should elaborate on the method to make carotenoids, also note if the method you explain is a lab synthesis method or is it part of a bio synthetic pathway. Exclude the fact about pine trees as it seems irrelevant in this paragraph more so about synthesis it seems, you can bring up this fact in a more relevant paragraph maybe about further applications in nature etc.
Second/ third paragraph seems to future be dealing with synthesis of carotenoids more so the products of the metabolism of the pigment. This is a good paragraph to follow up from the previous paragraph as the content logically flows. For vitamin A, you included some ways it is needed for “creatures’ living” this should be elaborated in a separate paragraph preferably. In the last two sentences you also mention vitamin A deficiency, which should also be mentioned in another paragraph.
I notice your main part is short and the second/ third paragraph you have try to cram too many ideas into the end such as the functions of vitamin A and deficiency. These topics would be better placed into their own section where you elaborate on them with current research on
Introduction - Should be made into one paragraph. At the start of the introduction provide a clear purpose of what your paper investigates, then move onto explaining carotenoids. You should also be a little more specific in this section about the "chemistry and biology impact". However, it is a good starting point for your introduction …show more content…
First paragraph should elaborate on the method to make carotenoids, also note if the method you explain is a lab synthesis method or is it part of a bio synthetic pathway. Exclude the fact about pine trees as it seems irrelevant in this paragraph more so about synthesis it seems, you can bring up this fact in a more relevant paragraph maybe about further applications in nature etc.
Second/ third paragraph seems to future be dealing with synthesis of carotenoids more so the products of the metabolism of the pigment. This is a good paragraph to follow up from the previous paragraph as the content logically flows. For vitamin A, you included some ways it is needed for “creatures’ living” this should be elaborated in a separate paragraph preferably. In the last two sentences you also mention vitamin A deficiency, which should also be mentioned in another paragraph.
I notice your main part is short and the second/ third paragraph you have try to cram too many ideas into the end such as the functions of vitamin A and deficiency. These topics would be better placed into their own section where you elaborate on them with current research on