My Struggle, My Purpose
Initially, I was going to stop on my way home, but I passed this store conveniently on my way into work and it was an impulse decision to pull in, almost as if I didn’t have control as I put on my left blinker. “I’ll take the test when I get home”, I thought to myself while leaving the Walgreens parking lot. The amount of days that had passed hadn’t really registered as I was too busy in thought with my recent promotion. The elderly lady behind the counter wished me luck as she scanned the pregnancy tests across the register. Really, luck? I simply needed to clear my mind of the thought of being pregnant and acknowledge that stress was the culprit, that’s what was really on my mind. Doctor’s tell me it’s near impossible, …show more content…
That double line came about quite quickly as well, on both tests, one taken directly after the other out of pure disbelief. I set my elbows on my knees and my face in my palms. The tests didn’t hesitate to tell me I was expecting, and my emotions didn’t hesitate to kick into gear either. I didn’t cry, in fact, I didn’t move a muscle. Shock is the best way to explain it I suppose. You know those moments when you’re alone and you have no choice but to talk yourself back down to reality? We’ve all been there, right? Well, this moment was definitely one of them. As much as I may try, I cannot put into words the rush of immeasurable emotion that completely consumed me during that …show more content…
Between the three of us, it was our little secret. The thing is…I’d been pregnant twice before. I am not a religious person by any means, but I am not going to deny that I have two angels that guide me through life on a daily basis. I have two pure, sweet souls that were taken from me far too soon, two angels that I will forever hold in my heart instead of my arms. I wasn’t in a hurry to share the news for a couple of reasons: one being that I was recently single, and two being that if I was going to go through another loss, I wanted to do it alone instead of having others accompanying me with a million questions throughout another incredibly trying journey. I had been there twice before and I unfortunately knew how to better prepare myself in the event that this event may happen again.
The journey I bravely prepared myself for didn’t come this time though, quite the contrary. Instead, after months of demanded bed rest and many trips to specialists, on September 4th of 2016 I welcomed the most perfect and healthy little boy into this world. I met my angel of all angels face to face. My son immediately became my sole purpose, my absolute everything. His presence lessened every pain I’d every felt. He is exactly what I’d waited for, precisely what I’d been wanting my entire adult
Initially, I was going to stop on my way home, but I passed this store conveniently on my way into work and it was an impulse decision to pull in, almost as if I didn’t have control as I put on my left blinker. “I’ll take the test when I get home”, I thought to myself while leaving the Walgreens parking lot. The amount of days that had passed hadn’t really registered as I was too busy in thought with my recent promotion. The elderly lady behind the counter wished me luck as she scanned the pregnancy tests across the register. Really, luck? I simply needed to clear my mind of the thought of being pregnant and acknowledge that stress was the culprit, that’s what was really on my mind. Doctor’s tell me it’s near impossible, …show more content…
That double line came about quite quickly as well, on both tests, one taken directly after the other out of pure disbelief. I set my elbows on my knees and my face in my palms. The tests didn’t hesitate to tell me I was expecting, and my emotions didn’t hesitate to kick into gear either. I didn’t cry, in fact, I didn’t move a muscle. Shock is the best way to explain it I suppose. You know those moments when you’re alone and you have no choice but to talk yourself back down to reality? We’ve all been there, right? Well, this moment was definitely one of them. As much as I may try, I cannot put into words the rush of immeasurable emotion that completely consumed me during that …show more content…
Between the three of us, it was our little secret. The thing is…I’d been pregnant twice before. I am not a religious person by any means, but I am not going to deny that I have two angels that guide me through life on a daily basis. I have two pure, sweet souls that were taken from me far too soon, two angels that I will forever hold in my heart instead of my arms. I wasn’t in a hurry to share the news for a couple of reasons: one being that I was recently single, and two being that if I was going to go through another loss, I wanted to do it alone instead of having others accompanying me with a million questions throughout another incredibly trying journey. I had been there twice before and I unfortunately knew how to better prepare myself in the event that this event may happen again.
The journey I bravely prepared myself for didn’t come this time though, quite the contrary. Instead, after months of demanded bed rest and many trips to specialists, on September 4th of 2016 I welcomed the most perfect and healthy little boy into this world. I met my angel of all angels face to face. My son immediately became my sole purpose, my absolute everything. His presence lessened every pain I’d every felt. He is exactly what I’d waited for, precisely what I’d been wanting my entire adult