I liked the way you started your essay. I believe the details you gave really helped me to gave me and idea of your daily mornings. In paragraph 2, before the car crash it might be more completed if you mentioned more details. Like, did you were distracted while driving? Could you avoid this by being more focused on the road? Also I think the last sentence of this paragraph doesn’t fit very well over there. You maybe could save it until paragraph 3 before you apologize for the hit. I think there the sentence will fit better. In my opinion I am more interested in reading about how physically and emotionally you were. Did you were warm? Did you feel pain or you were scare? I would like to know more about how the whole affair ends. You maybe could
