Brommel's Stages Of The Conflictual Process

A situation where I experienced all six stages of Brommel’s Stages of the Conflictual Process is with an ex-boyfriend of two years. In the beginning of our dating process he had an ex-girlfriend that he still had feelings for which influenced him to stay in contact with her without my knowledge. Four months in he disappeared on me and cut all communication off with me. I then discovered that it was due to him returning to dating his ex-girlfriend. This made me livid. But after two weeks he decided to continue communication with me once again and I accepted. He apologized for his actions and I told him that I accept the apology but I do not forgive him.
Three months after we rekindled our dating we decided to be a couple and this is where I …show more content…
He would blow off my concerns by saying I am being too emotional and that is causing me to not see everything that he is doing clearly. He expressed that because he does not say I love you every day does not mean he do not love me. This leads to the Active Conflict Stage which is where we argued almost every day because I felt that he did not love, appreciate, or value me. I brought up the incident with his ex-girlfriend every chance I got and compared our relationship to the relationship with her. We would avoid each other calls for days on in and when we saw each other in person we would either avoid contact or give each other dirty …show more content…
We continued on with our relationship but for me it still was not the same. I still felt like he did not love me, appreciate me, or value me. Every day I wondered if that would be the day when he would leave me for another woman again. I held on to this for six months until I just could not take it anymore. After a year and nine months I ended the relationship because of the buildup of emotions that I had. I was tired of pacifying our issues and not fully working through them. At this time, I was doing summer school and all of my friends were back home. This made the pain 10x more intense because I was all alone. We were out of complete contact with each other for three months and in that three months we were able to evaluate our wrongs in the relationship. When we got back together our communication improved and we were able to compromise better with each other’s need. We had a better understanding of each other and this made our love stronger. We are currently at the Resolution Stage and I am so appreciative of it. We have worked through all of our past issues so they do not affect our relationship