Black President Monologue

I peered across the room, searching for only the most alluring people. I had been without relations for a while and was feeling lonely. They had to be white, of course. I can’t be seen with any muslims or something. We may have a black president now, but soon the president will be me. A broad would be good for my image too. I could show how relatable I am by having a lovely lady on my arm at all times. Except when she needs to use the bathroom or has her period, that’s icky. After a while of seeing no one attractive enough for me, I decided it was time for me to leave this particular event. It was boring anyway. A meeting of republicans gives me no opportunity to tell off any dumb liberals. Can’t impress a bitch unless you insult some liberals. I left the event and began walking down the street towards my car, which was parked at far …show more content…
I mean really a butt plug! The homosexuals use those!” “Uh, Mr. Trump I’m sorry that you’re so upset but I’m just an employee. I don’t have control over the merchandise.” “Well.. Erm… I’m still unhappy with this!” I was conflicted because I don’t believe in the rights of workers. They can all starve to death on the minimum wage I pay them for all I care. But I still wanted answers from her. She should be yelled at like she was the boss and paid like an employee. The thought made me feel better but unfortunately it gave her the opportunity to come up with a rebuttal. “Well, you see sir, these are flying off the shelves, you should feel honored that everyone is so interested in adding you to their intimate lives.” Oh. A sudden feeling of equanimity overcame me. People were including me, the glorious Donald Trump, into their sexual lives. Suddenly the broad I was searching for became no match for the multitude of people inserting my plastic homunculus into their rectums. I took a deep, reassured breath and looked at the woman. I knew what I had to