The stance that Felsenfeld means toward "rebel music", I believe is when he talks about classical music. It defines who he was as a person and was also based on the type of music he finally enjoyed listening to. At first he felt like he was the only one who listened to this type of music, which made him love his abstract role in it even more. He couldn't believe that Beethoven was who he had judged so violently in the past as a kid. When he describes he's first time listening to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, he says how it had a drug-like effect on him. Felsenfeld stated that he listened to the tapes in secret. The fact that he was listening to music that nobody else had hear or even known about, caused him to feel as if he was doing something
