Autonomy And Connectedness In Interpersonal Communication

Interpersonal Communication is defined as, “the process that we use to communicate our ideas, thoughts, and feelings to another person.” Although I agree with this definition, I find it rather vague. I believe that we must also understand the other’s situation. To build a relationship with someone you must be sensible of where that person is coming from. My ex-boyfriend Taylor and I dated for a little over a year and we were inseparable. Taylor and I grew up in the same hometown and had many similar friends but didn’t officially meet until senior year of high school. We instantly became best friends. The rush of our senior year kept us in a whirl of events. Taylor and I both being very involved throughout our community and high school, kept …show more content…
This being an example of Autonomy and Connectedness, which also means, “The dialectical tension resulting from simultaneous needs for independence and for togetherness in relationships.” Autonomy which stands for self-determination and independence is a basic human need, but Connectedness is also necessary when the desire to feel close or connected with someone is there. We each had pretty vigorous schedules throughout high school, which caused us to have a balance between maintaining our independence and our desire to be together. Taylor played football and soccer religiously and I had a job and also cheered all throughout high school so our time was well spread out and made our relationship smooth. We were able to maintain our independence while also keeping each other as a high priority. Once we got to college things began to change as we were not in the same place anymore, which caused us to not be as connected. We both maintained very busy schedules if not busier. The balance of Autonomy and Connectedness was leaning more towards Autonomy and it impacted our relationship a lot. We both thrived on each other and strived to make the distance work in numerous ways. We used our memories and pictures to remind us how special our relationship was and how we could make it work. We saw holidays and events as something special to look forward to and focus on instead …show more content…
Openness and Closedness is known as, “The dialectical tension resulting from simultaneous needs for sharing information and for concealing information in relationships.” Taylor and I grew together as a couple very fast. We got very close and knew almost everything about each other in no time. Due to our relationship and being so close there wasn’t much we didn’t share with each other. We used selection by selecting openness over closedness because being open and sharing all that we faced was so much better than keeping things from the other and not being honest. For example, Taylor had previous relationships that he told me all about, which helped me understand more about him and where he was coming from. He also always shared all his thoughts and feelings to ensure me how he felt about everything, we never felt the need to keep anything from each other because having closedness caused problems and we didn’t ever want to question what the other was doing or thinking. I grew up in very divided and chaotic family situations which is a very sensitive subject for me that I do not share with many people. Taylor is one of the select few who knows every single minor detail of my life, and although were not together I wouldn’t have it any other way. As for me, Taylor doesn’t have much of a back story. He grew up in a