Essay Attachment Styles and Relationships

1173 Words Feb 17th, 2015 5 Pages
Attachment Styles and Relationships
Jennifer Oliver
Adam Miller
Part One

When you have two individuals and they share an emotional attachment, we call this an attachment style. According to Bolt (2004), there are three main elements. Care, commitment and closeness. I like to remember them easily by calling them the 3 C’s. Attachment styles start at birth. It is important to realize that although nature and nurture are both important elements that help develop our attachment style they are not the only factors. Our parents, close relatives, even siblings can help us develop our individual attachment style. The first attachment style is closeness, from the time we are infants, we experience either the closeness
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There are other factors that will influence the development of our style. Examining how attachment styles develop help give insight into seeing if we can somehow change our styles, later in life. Even if as infants the closeness levels were low, as we grow and mature we can develop positive attachments and be in secure and healthy relationships. Psychoanalyst have long agreed that the child’s first human relationship is the stepping stone to his personality, however, there is not agreement on the nature and origin of that relationship. A child can have a caregiver at first that doesn’t exhibit closeness or caring and then later have a caregiver that creates a special bond. So does this mean the child grows up with close attachment values or ambivalent and inconsistent? That has been the question but theories have proven that even in the worst of condition’s, such as an abusive child going from foster home to foster home, they can still mature and learn to have close loving relationships. You have secured at one end of the spectrum and avoidance at the other. Secure is the most positive and strongest of the styles. Parents who dote on their children and who tend to them in a loving manner help the child develop so that as adults they are able to have strong, trusting, loving, and committed adult relationships. When individuals

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