Argumentative Essay: Why Women Stay In Relationships

Why Women Stay There are psychological reasons why women don’t leave abusive relationships. They should not be blamed for staying in them, and need support while going through it, and afterwards as well. The brain is a complex survival tool. The things that it’s capable of in the pursuit of self-preservation will amaze you. Some of the reasons that women stay in abusive relationships are; psychological coping mechanisms, too much time and energy invested, women sacrifice in relationships more often, and manipulation. Often after these things happen it is almost impossible to get out of the cycle. It’s almost an addiction in that way. Like the song from Rianna and Eminem “Love the Way You Lie”. Here is a verse from the song. I think that …show more content…
This is a problem though, because you don’t realize how bad of a situation you’re in. Leaving would be the best option, and the healthiest, but that rarely happens for many different reasons. Stockholm syndrome is where you emotionally bond with your captor (The Small Kindness). Too survive your brain literally bonds you with the abuser, and in turn you stick up for the abusers behavior, reject family members and friends that are trying to save you, and you have an inability to help anyone gain your release. When the woman that has had Stockholm Syndrome is asked why do you stay with him. She will answer, “I know what he’s done to me, but I still love him”(The Small Kindness). Our brains actually change the way we see the situation so that we can cope with our reality. Our brains when faced with threatening events, individuals often engage in complex cognitive maneuvers that change the meaning of the stressful situation (Coping with Abusive Relationships). This means that when they get abused there brains tell them, “hey they didn’t mean it”, or “it was your fault”. This leads to self blame and low self esteem. This is right where an abuser wants you. They’ll start playing on this until you feel helpless. They shift the blame, they make you feel like it’s your fault. They will make it your family’s fault. They will make it any one’s fault, but their own. …show more content…
You also have to fight your own brain that has convinced its self out of self preservation that this guy is your world, and doesn’t mean it when he hits you. According to the Journal entry “Reasons for Staying in Intimately Violent Relationships”, leaving is a multistep process. First you start with precontemplation. This is where you recognize there is a problem. The second step of the process is contemplation; you start to think about leaving the relationship. The third step is preparation. In this step you start to get all your ducks in a row. You start making plans about where you’re going to go once you leave. You start putting old relationships with friends and family back together. The forth step is action, in this phase you actually leave your abusive partner. In this stage you will be able to look back at the relationship, and see how toxic it was. This is still a dangerous stage though. You still have feelings for that person on a certain level, and if you start thinking about the good times you could end up back with them. That leads me to the last stage, and this stage lasts your whole life. The maintenance stage is hard. This is the time that the guy will try to get you back at all costs. He will throw out every trick in the book. It will be an ongoing process, because those kinds of relationships do leave permanent