A court stenographer in a high profile murder case suspects the defendant isn’t guilty when her steno machine begins to tap out the message that they have the wrong killer.
BRIEF SYNOPSIS
KELSEY FREEMAN (25), a courtroom stenographer, struggles with a secret drug addiction. She cares for her former boyfriend’s grandmother. She’s assigned to a high-profile murder case involving a reality celebrity. Reality show star ANTHONY is accused of killing his wife LOLA out of jealousy.
While preparing for the case, Kelsey is startled when her steno machine spontaneously taps out the message “avenge.” She’s not sure what it means. She thinks the machine is broken. She calls in someone to repair it, but they can’t find anything wrong.
During the trial, …show more content…
her drug use. This adds a nice twist to the story and makes Kelsey move complicated. It gives an actor a strong role to play. It’s a smart story choice.
There’s a solid inciting event with the idea of the “tapping” of the steno machine. It’s spooky and captures the attention of the audience. Make sure to visually show Kelsey as being “fearful”. However, it seems she would be more confused and curious. The idea of her getting a repairman is smart but the scene with the repairman feels a bit long.
The first act and the overall structure of the script should balance the courtroom scenes with more proactive action from Kelsey. In other words, there’s too much emphasis on the courtroom scenes, which slows the pace. The audience doesn’t necessary wants to watch a courtroom drama that relies heavily on dialogue. A thriller relies more on suspense, anticipation and tension. The protagonist once locked into the goal must be proactive.
On page 18, Kelsey receives the message to find the real killer. This is where the credibility of the script begins to falter. First, consider only keeping the messages to the steno machine versus her phone etc. The hook is the steno machine and not the other devices. Using the phone lessens the hook and the
BRIEF SYNOPSIS
KELSEY FREEMAN (25), a courtroom stenographer, struggles with a secret drug addiction. She cares for her former boyfriend’s grandmother. She’s assigned to a high-profile murder case involving a reality celebrity. Reality show star ANTHONY is accused of killing his wife LOLA out of jealousy.
While preparing for the case, Kelsey is startled when her steno machine spontaneously taps out the message “avenge.” She’s not sure what it means. She thinks the machine is broken. She calls in someone to repair it, but they can’t find anything wrong.
During the trial, …show more content…
her drug use. This adds a nice twist to the story and makes Kelsey move complicated. It gives an actor a strong role to play. It’s a smart story choice.
There’s a solid inciting event with the idea of the “tapping” of the steno machine. It’s spooky and captures the attention of the audience. Make sure to visually show Kelsey as being “fearful”. However, it seems she would be more confused and curious. The idea of her getting a repairman is smart but the scene with the repairman feels a bit long.
The first act and the overall structure of the script should balance the courtroom scenes with more proactive action from Kelsey. In other words, there’s too much emphasis on the courtroom scenes, which slows the pace. The audience doesn’t necessary wants to watch a courtroom drama that relies heavily on dialogue. A thriller relies more on suspense, anticipation and tension. The protagonist once locked into the goal must be proactive.
On page 18, Kelsey receives the message to find the real killer. This is where the credibility of the script begins to falter. First, consider only keeping the messages to the steno machine versus her phone etc. The hook is the steno machine and not the other devices. Using the phone lessens the hook and the