The Strengths In The Original Poem Of 'Intimacy'

The Strengths in the Original Poem of “Intimacy”

By removing “Peacock feather,” the delicacy of the feather is diminished. A wheelbarrow is a rough object. The wheelbarrow does not offer the same imagery with the line of “wide eye tamed with dirt” as the “peacock feather does”. A wheelbarrow is neither wild nor tamed, but a peacock is a free animal, and one that is not typically domesticated or tamed. The father also references to the title: “Intimacy” of being a soft and fragile concept. The “-ther” in feather makes the line less syllables and allows the line to not be as harsh sounding as the “row” in “wheelbarrow” sounds within the line. “Peacock Feather” is a superior choice of words than “wheelbarrow” because of the unique …show more content…
The care is present and can be imagined being spoken by someone who loved the person who “carried it in so tenderly” when the word “tenderly” is used. The change line of “you broke it, you idiot” is not only appears to be an impolite remark, but also breaks apart from the message of tenderness and care the narrator has for this person. By having the line in there makes the message demeaning to the person to whom the narrator cares for. Neither the change nor the original has a meter to the line nor does either line follow a rhyme scheme with the rest of the stanza. However, the changed line breaks apart the line, making the line sound harsh and shakes the reader out from the reading of the poem as the “you broke it, you idiot” does not have the same fluidity in the reading as “tenderly” did in the …show more content…
To “unearth itself” is a naturalistic choice of words of giving their situation a grander scale of being a problem of nature itself. While the original line and the new one both have meters, the “spoiled” line is much longer and disrupts reading the poem because the original lines in the poem remains short and to the point. The implication of “get to work” means a partnership of building something and working with one another. However, with the change of “see if we can fix it,” the “if” implies that it is broken and needs fixing; whereas, the original line shows a building of something together rather than fixing a problem between them. The original describes that can be recovered for the narrator and the person she cares for and it is not a possibility of recovery as the “if” implies in the changed