The tone is dramatic. The script is driven by the theme of survival. The stakes are extremely high. The script features some really well done action sequences, especially in the first act.
With that said, the overall script would benefit from more development in the areas of the structure, the pace, and the tension, as well as further character development.
The first act sets the tone for the script and introduces the protagonist Thomas Aiken. The …show more content…
There’s a ticking clock of 24 hours, which is nicely crafted.
The concern is that the characters of Wild Bill and John do nothing but talk and discuss the situation, slowing the pace down and not offering compelling enough tension. To make the script work, there’s needs to be a complex character that is conflicted about how to rescue Aiken and is conflicted about the idea of the “Hannibal Protocol.” In fact, the idea of the Hannibal Protocol seems to get lost in the storytelling.
While Wild Bill has some strong dialogue, it’s challenging to really understand his true motivation or agenda. Creating a character that wants to rescue Aiken, but realizes the consequences of this possibly creating a war or tremendous loss of casualties versus the “Hannibal Protocol” can really create a more compelling and tense storyline. It gives the plot a strong moral dilemma for a character. Do they rescue him or bomb the place knowing he’ll probably die?
Also, try to elevate the sense of the ticking clock and that the 24 hours is approaching to create more anticipation and