Analysis Of Sex Lies By Deborah Tannen

Good Essays
Men, Women and Communication

Deborah Tannen’s essay in Sex, Lies and Communication explains the problems of communication between men and women and how communication between them can be misunderstood. I do agree with her statements in this essay.

In Deborah Tannen’s essay, she talks about how women feel neglected by their spouse by not listening to them while they are talking. “He doesn’t talk to me,”. Pg. 408. This is one of the complaints made by women about their spouse. Women like to communicate and share their day or what may be going on in their life with friends or just everyday happenings. Women are willing to talk about anything it doesn’t have to be on any specific subject, they just want to have the communication and attention
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Long conversations that they feel isn’t important. enough to them to listen to doesn’t mean they are not, but can confuse women because men usually turn their heads away or seem to not to be listening when they really are. Men usually feel if they have to listen to their spouse that they feel belittled as having to listen to a parent as a child. The gathering of men and talking is a complete different setting. Men usually need a specific subject to discuss, such as a subject that are interested in. Men talking to each other on subjects that they are interested in can become a committed conversation where they feel supportive and understood. Women don’t understand this communication of men with each other when it is different with their spouse. Men feel equal to each other when they are in conversation. Women usually have a problem with that because they don’t understand why their spouse will not talk or communicate with them as they do men, “He doesn’t talk to me” Pg.408. Most men will talk they just have their own way of doing it., but for women they feel men are not listening when they are talking because they do not respond with conversation or may be looking away or changing the subject, they are listening just in their own way. Subjects they are not interested in or they feel not important will probably not get women the full attention. They are expecting. Usually women will become frustrated with their spouse. Most the time women will turn their conversation to someone that they feel will listen to them. This can result in problems in the marriage. Communication between a spouse can be taken wrong and misunderstood. Remembering that just because your spouse is not looking at you or not responding to what you have to say may not mean they are not listening. Men do listen they just not in ways that women would like them to. In personal experience I have repeated myself many times before I would get frustrated and say, did you

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