Analysis Of Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code, By Michael Kimmel

In the reading “Bros Before Hos: The Guy Code”, Michael Kimmel critics what it means to be a man and the “Guy Code” they are expected to follow. According to Kimmel, masculinity is a problematic social construct that invokes behaviors that men tend to follow unconsciously. The unconscious behaviors that men tend to follow is know as the “Guy Code” that is passed down to them when they were young. Kimmel claims that boys follow the “Guy Code” at a young age because they don’t want to be considered gay or in masculine. Masculinity has neither a clear nor a conventional definition. This is because masculinity is a social construction that has been put in place by the society since no one can define this subject with certainty.
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This essentially means that for the boys to be able to take the leap of masculinity they have to suppress all the feelings they associate with their mother like being compassionate and dependent and starts being independent and withdrawn. However, this belief often creates lots of problems to boys whose fathers are missing in the picture or the ones whose mothers are over dominant. This is because if being masculine entails disassociating with one’s mother and starting to identify with the father, then what happens when the father is not around. It is true that all kids need a father figure in their lives if they are to make the leap to masculinity, however, being masculine does not really mean that one has to suppress the feelings they associate with their maternal instincts. For instance, Kimmel says that his colleague complained to him that his wife was treating his seven-year-old like a baby by strategizing with her son how to use an alternate route to avoid being bullied. According to his colleague using such a strategy essentially inhibits the boy from standing up for himself and he may end up turning into a wimp. This type of belief ideally reinforces that masculinity is a social construction that varies from one individual to another. This is because Kimmel’s colleague believes that being a man is being able to stand up for oneself and face their problems head-on, while his wife seems to believe that being a man is being the bigger man and walking away from such situations that may lead to conflicts. These two perceptions seem to collide probably because the husband and wife may have been raised in different societies where the meaning of being a man may have been