“Anxiety is blue; failure is grey”. (Guest 2) Throughout the story there were many things that were blue and grey, but four of them stood out the most. The blue of the ocean, the blue …show more content…
The mention of death and suicides occurs many times for example the boating accident in which Jordan, Conrad’s brother dies, “When did it happen? When did they stop calling to one another from opposite sides of the stern where they hung for better more even balance did he think it was over”? (Guest 218). This is where we learn more about Jordan’s death and how Conrad will have to deal with his guilt of holding on when Jordan let go. “Listen, you know what you did? You hung on, kiddo. That’s it. That’s your guilt. You can live with that can’t you”? Next is Conrad’s attempted suicide, “I tried to off myself…. With what? Pills? Gillette Super - Blue? … It was Platinum Plus”. (Guest 41) This is when Conrad is talking to his psychiatrist about what happened and we learn more about his suicide attempt and the fact that he used a razor to cut himself in hopes of bleeding out. Next, Karen’s suicide, “Girl takes own life … carbon monoxide poisoning… nineteen year old Skokie girl … dead in her car early Saturday morning … Karen Susan Aldrich”. (Guest 210) Conrad learns about Karen’s suicide while reading the newspaper and he was immediately struck with anxiety. “His body is numb. The words thicken and swim before his eyes. Oh God. Oh no. Oh God. His head fills with strange sounds -- a tuneless humming… his body trembles… he is dizzy and …show more content…
There is only one major time that there is a sexual situation is the story and that is towards the end of the book when Conrad is finally realizing that although he has struggles he will be okay in the end. Conrad and his girlfriend Jeannine are hanging out when things get sexual. “He can not concentrate anymore, gathers her against him tightly as his groin hardens … Conrad’s head is on his arm, one hand curved around her breast, eyes closed, shielding himself from the shining look of her; smooth, pale peach skin”. (Guest 247) This is important peice within the story because this is when Conrad finally is in touch with his feelings after he has sex with Jeannine he feels as though he isn’t worthless and that he is okay. This also a crucial piece of the story because after this section there is fewer gray and blue which means he is no longer feeling as though he is a failure and his anxiety is slowing