The Way We Never Were Summary

n Dr. Stephanie Coontz’s talk at Dickinson College in Pennsylvania, she reevaluated today’s nostalgia towards the nuclear family popular in the 1950s. Her lecture title, The Way We Never Were is significant because it highlights the fact that the idea of the male breadwinner was a brief moment in world history. Only a tiny minority of 19th century were able to achieve this way of life that was actually untraditional. The family realities for most of world history are what the 1950s considered abnormal. For example, single-parent families and step families were actually very normal throughout history. They were normal due to high death rates in the past. Coontz states that in 19th century, a majority of marriages ended in death with children …show more content…
However, there are many new positives too. People can’t ignore babies conceived outside marriage and people are marring older when they are more mature. Pre-marital sex is expected. Infertile, single, and gay people can have families of their own due to science and technology. We have a long way to go in terms of redefining parental leave and making it more accommodating to the changing family dynamic. There are new choices women have available in regards to whom they marry and under what circumstances, they marry. Coontz describes the scenarios of women saying no to shot gun weddings and can divorce. There are economic downfalls to this new social independence. Divorce can be painful and remarrying and stepfamilies are hard to blend. Coontz stresses that these changes are here to stay. Coontz is optimistic we can meet these changes and these challenges. Coontz believes that two income houses can be less stressed with programs to access affordable childcare. Fathers can be more attentive which benefit children, especially daughters. These changes improve children’s economic and social adjustment. Teaching people to marry based on compatibility will also lead to less