Chapter 4, Pathways and Trigger Brought to Life. This chapter talks about how frustration look different on different children. Not all children will explode the same way, with the same pathways however, across the board all the explosive child share a similarity in some way, and that is the skills they lack to help them deal with the problem. The author give an example of four different children, in different age range, and how the child show their frustration, but also how they react to the triggers. Chapter 5 talk about the truth of consequences. How rewards and punishment, especially punishment, doesn’t work on an explosive child. The lesson of the punishment will not in grain into their mind. Ignoring the child for bad behavior and reward
…show more content…
The common replies of the adult would be “You can’t.” “You must.” And “No!” This is when the adult force the child to do what they just asked of them, letting the child know who is the boss and compliance is a must. Plan A will not work with the explosive child for the child do not understand (or lack the skill of flexibility) why they have to follow the rules. Adult can still have their authority power without using plan A with the child. Plan C is when the adult figure eliminate all the expectation from the child (temporary). The adult would not say anything to the child who is having an episode or just give in to what the child wants. Many people may see that Plan C is giving into the child, but that is not the case. Giving in is when the parent use Plan A, then got weary and tire of the child so they use Plan C to stop the problem. It isn’t giving in if the parents purposely use Plan C. The last Plan that the author want the reader to us is Plan B, which is call Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) plan. This is where both the child and the adult come to a shared solutions to the problems. Plan B is about the adult to train the child the skills they lack which is understanding the problem, and finding a doable solutions that makes everyone happy without explosion on the child’s part and frustration on the parent’s part. Slowly the child learn the CPS their parent and would use those skill themselves without the parent’s help. There are steps that the reader has to follow in order for Plan B to work. Empathy, where the adult keep calm and put the child’s concern first. Repeat exactly what the child say to let them know the adult is caring and hearing their problem. If the child doesn’t bring up the problem, then it is the adult’s job to ask questions (with a simple “What’s up?”) to prompt the child to tell them what they need instead of jumping into conclusion on their own. Next is defining
The common replies of the adult would be “You can’t.” “You must.” And “No!” This is when the adult force the child to do what they just asked of them, letting the child know who is the boss and compliance is a must. Plan A will not work with the explosive child for the child do not understand (or lack the skill of flexibility) why they have to follow the rules. Adult can still have their authority power without using plan A with the child. Plan C is when the adult figure eliminate all the expectation from the child (temporary). The adult would not say anything to the child who is having an episode or just give in to what the child wants. Many people may see that Plan C is giving into the child, but that is not the case. Giving in is when the parent use Plan A, then got weary and tire of the child so they use Plan C to stop the problem. It isn’t giving in if the parents purposely use Plan C. The last Plan that the author want the reader to us is Plan B, which is call Collaborative Problem Solving (CPS) plan. This is where both the child and the adult come to a shared solutions to the problems. Plan B is about the adult to train the child the skills they lack which is understanding the problem, and finding a doable solutions that makes everyone happy without explosion on the child’s part and frustration on the parent’s part. Slowly the child learn the CPS their parent and would use those skill themselves without the parent’s help. There are steps that the reader has to follow in order for Plan B to work. Empathy, where the adult keep calm and put the child’s concern first. Repeat exactly what the child say to let them know the adult is caring and hearing their problem. If the child doesn’t bring up the problem, then it is the adult’s job to ask questions (with a simple “What’s up?”) to prompt the child to tell them what they need instead of jumping into conclusion on their own. Next is defining