You must open your eyes at least every thirty seconds, and you must keep them open at least thirty seconds at a time.
No making fun of larger or smaller penises
Bring your own tissues for cleanup
If you bring pornography, then you must share it.
You cannot fantasize about the girlfriends of the boys standing next to you, but you can fantasize about the girlfriends of every other boy in the circle.
You can fantasize about any of the boys in the circle jerk, but not if they are standing next to you.
An official circle jerk contains seven boys.
If fewer than seven boys want to jerk off together, they must stand in single file, and it shall be known as a firing line.
If more than seven boys want to jerk off together, it shall be called a Joint Session of Congress. (Alexie 125)
What a raunchy and crude way to start a story that is ultimately about a boy and his overbearing mother and how he is unhappy with his upbringing. Once again the comedy lightens the load of the stories true