Forgiving And Benevolence: A Literature Review

In order to find results, the researchers examined couples in their 3rd year of marriage and identified 2 forgiveness dimensions: retaliation, or revenge after a wrong-doing, and benevolence, or the desire to do good to others. The researchers discovered that “husbands ' retaliatory motivation was a significant predictor of poorer wife-reported conflict resolution, whereas wives ' benevolence motivation predicted husbands ' reports of better conflict resolution” (Finchan, Beach, & Davila, 2004, p. 72). This is significant in producing results of the benefit of forgiving one’s spouse. When husbands did not feel like forgiving, the wives reported poorer conflict resolution but when the wives felt more generous and benevolent, the husbands reported better conflict resolution. The second experiment was similar but included another variable: avoidance. Similar to the first results, Finchan, Beach, and Davila discovered that “Whereas wives ' benevolence again predicted better conflict resolution, husbands ' avoidance predicted wives ' reports of poorer conflict resolution” (2004, p. 72). In order to have strong conflict resolution skills and habits, couples must seek to forgive their spouse and evade feelings of avoidance or retaliation …show more content…
One of the stories involved a husband who had fallen into immorality and consistent alcohol use. The wife was struggling and first desired to end the marriage but instead turned to Heavenly Father to understand what she needed to do. She learned of the Christ-like principles of marriage and waited 18 years, helping her husband and waiting for him in patience (Mending Our Marriage, 1996). She realized that she was not perfect and that she too had sins and shortcomings that required forgiveness. She set aside specific time to be with her husband and to rebuild their trust and