A Monologue From Odysseus Of Homer's Odyssey

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I had a sense. There were men on my island. Well that was a delightful surprise! I believe it is time to add some new additions to my pig sty. The whole process of turning them into pigs is simple, really: indulge them in food, get them to relax, and then Bam! Use my witchcraft! Works all the time. Except this time. I was outwitted by a man. He is quite special.
His name is Odysseus, and of course he is the leader of those men. He came in acting normal, but we both knew something was up when my food didn’t turn him into a pig. I was expecting another man to barge in here, so I got prepared before he came, but each time I thought I knew what to do, he was always one step ahead. I’m sure he had access to some sort of sorcery on him. I was threatened

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