James began drinking at age 10 and experimenting with drugs at age 12. By 16 years old, he started blacking out every day from over indulgence to alcohol. He first started selling marijuana and shrooms around the age of 14. From around age 17 to 23, his current age, he set about doing anything he could get his hands on. “I want to run or die or get fucked up” (Frey 6). This talks about how he hated himself …show more content…
At one point, James had to do a family program at a rehabilitation center. At the meeting, he came to the conclusion that the reason he hates his family so much is because they were extremely over protective and took the blame for his problems. His mother blamed herself and others for issues James should have taken responsibility for. When James first entered the rehabilitation center, he said AA and the Twelve Step Program was foolish. James already knew that what he was doing was his own fault. He knew the drugs and alcohol would ruin his life and could potentially kill him. My heart was still pounding and my hands were still shaking and for the first time in my life it wasn't because of alcohol or drugs and for the first time in my life alcohol and drugs wouldn't make it go away (Frey 60). This shows that he knows what he uses for the drugs and alcohol for. It shows that he is realizing that what he's doing is not good and he's realizing it is not “helping” anymore