The Tragic Saturday
Working in palliative care, I have been by the bedside of many dying patients; I have been there for their last breath. Comforting families while they grieve is hard, but rewarding. I am often told by friends and family that they could not do what I do and that I have a gift. This gift, the ability to care for others when they are no longer able to care for themselves, is what made the decision to move my father-in-law, Harald, into our home an easy one. After being hospitalized several times over the last year, sending Harald back to his apartment -- alone and unable to fully care for himself was not an option. After-all, he was able to get around, with the assistance of a walker. While Harald needed lots of other …show more content…
Wake up early, make a pitcher of iced tea, take morning meds, make coffee, read a trashy romance novel at the kitchen table while eating breakfast, all while the rest of us were still sleeping. Once the rest of us would wake up to get ready for school or work, Harald would hang around the kitchen, watching and listening to our morning conversations centered around school lunches, client meetings, and after-school activities. The rest of his day consisted of taking afternoon meds, watching tv, The View and soccer, taking a stroll outside, more meds, in-home therapy appointments, and waiting anxiously for us all to return home. The excitement Harald showed when the house was fully of family gave us a look at how lonely he was before moving in. The joy he seemed to have living amongst the chaos of our lives diffused all around him. This new-found joy is what he needs to maintain his health and to prevent frequent trips to the hospital.
After a few weeks of living with us, we planned to take Harald to our local farmer’s market. Harald liked to cook and I liked healthy foods. It was a win-win situation. Harald would pick out fresh, local, and healthy ingredients for his traditional German meals and I would not have to worry about the food my family eats coming from a mass-produced farm. The weather forecast the next day, Saturday, was beautiful, perfect weather for farmer’s …show more content…
The medics were there to confirm that Harald was not breathing and unable to be resuscitated. The sheriff’s job was to interview the family, making sure Harold’s death was of natural causes. Being questioned while trying to process what had happened was difficult, but we understood the sheriff’s need to do it. Once the authorities determined that Harald’s death was from medical complications, he helped us contact a local funeral home. Because we had not planned on Harald passing so soon, we did not have any arrangements made. Once the couple from the funeral home arrived, they, along with the help of the sheriff, removed Harald’s body from the bathroom, onto a cart. Even though the couple and sheriff were doing what I do on a regular basis in the hospital, it did not feel normal or familiar to me. I felt sad, angry, and guilty. The question, “Is there anything I could have done to prevent this?”, continuously ran through my
Working in palliative care, I have been by the bedside of many dying patients; I have been there for their last breath. Comforting families while they grieve is hard, but rewarding. I am often told by friends and family that they could not do what I do and that I have a gift. This gift, the ability to care for others when they are no longer able to care for themselves, is what made the decision to move my father-in-law, Harald, into our home an easy one. After being hospitalized several times over the last year, sending Harald back to his apartment -- alone and unable to fully care for himself was not an option. After-all, he was able to get around, with the assistance of a walker. While Harald needed lots of other …show more content…
Wake up early, make a pitcher of iced tea, take morning meds, make coffee, read a trashy romance novel at the kitchen table while eating breakfast, all while the rest of us were still sleeping. Once the rest of us would wake up to get ready for school or work, Harald would hang around the kitchen, watching and listening to our morning conversations centered around school lunches, client meetings, and after-school activities. The rest of his day consisted of taking afternoon meds, watching tv, The View and soccer, taking a stroll outside, more meds, in-home therapy appointments, and waiting anxiously for us all to return home. The excitement Harald showed when the house was fully of family gave us a look at how lonely he was before moving in. The joy he seemed to have living amongst the chaos of our lives diffused all around him. This new-found joy is what he needs to maintain his health and to prevent frequent trips to the hospital.
After a few weeks of living with us, we planned to take Harald to our local farmer’s market. Harald liked to cook and I liked healthy foods. It was a win-win situation. Harald would pick out fresh, local, and healthy ingredients for his traditional German meals and I would not have to worry about the food my family eats coming from a mass-produced farm. The weather forecast the next day, Saturday, was beautiful, perfect weather for farmer’s …show more content…
The medics were there to confirm that Harald was not breathing and unable to be resuscitated. The sheriff’s job was to interview the family, making sure Harold’s death was of natural causes. Being questioned while trying to process what had happened was difficult, but we understood the sheriff’s need to do it. Once the authorities determined that Harald’s death was from medical complications, he helped us contact a local funeral home. Because we had not planned on Harald passing so soon, we did not have any arrangements made. Once the couple from the funeral home arrived, they, along with the help of the sheriff, removed Harald’s body from the bathroom, onto a cart. Even though the couple and sheriff were doing what I do on a regular basis in the hospital, it did not feel normal or familiar to me. I felt sad, angry, and guilty. The question, “Is there anything I could have done to prevent this?”, continuously ran through my