Fuck tha Police

“Real good,” screams Staff Sergeant Baker, “Real stinkin’ good, Guaman. Just take the easy way out and fucking die.” Recruit Guaman’s arms shake in the front leaning rest position over a puddle of his sweat on the quarterdeck. There’s nothing restful about that position. “Mountain climbers,” screams the drill instructor as his fists rest on his green duty belt, “in cadence, exercise: one-two-three.” Guaman limply lifts his left foot from the floor. The muscles in Staff Sergeant Baker’s…

A citronella candle puddles away in a bucket, its sharp, warm scent hanging in the air. It smells like the old world—smells of summers long ago that were fresh and green and full of promise and those nights Robin had spent out on the porch with Jim, a few beers, and a guitar they passed between each other, plucking out the opening riff to “Stairway to Heaven” over and over because they never learned anything else. Robin closes his eyes. The old man does what he can for his shoulder, cleaning it…

jumped out without turning my car off and started banging on his door like a bat out of hell I didn’t even ring the doorbell for what this was my home boy. It didn’t take long for Akie D to snatch his door off the hinge. “What the fuck man! What is your damn problem Walker? Man you alright?” He barked. “Walker you’re lucky my wife isn’t here right now. You know she doesn’t play that pop up bullshit.” I pushed past him and stood in his living room…

to them. Tonight is different. Everything is different. Like a dark, suffocating cloak had been draped over the town. What is happening here? And why the fuck did I come back? As I walked down the street I counted each and every stone, just as I used to, observing the renovated but still oddly familiar storefronts . One, two, three, four, fuck. Another one. A body. A young, beautiful women. She can't be over 25 years old. I imagined how her crystal blue eyes once gleamed with ambition, full of…

Leo had had a crap morning. Well, not more crap than usual, but certainly enough to complain about. Because he’d stayed up all night talking to Eloise, he slept right through his alarm, missed the bus, and was forced to call Piper to give him a ride. Not that there was anything wrong with Piper driving him-- in fact that would have been a great option for Leo’s daily routine had he and Piper’s relationship not taken a blow recently. On the surface it was hard to tell that Piper was angry at him…

know he has trouble sleeping.” Craig laughed. It was pleasant and unexpected since this night was turning out to be terrible. “I’ll make sure he gets home safe tomorrow. You’re welcome, goodbye.” “I didn’t know that you could play nice.” I chided. “Fuck off, Mrs. Tweak is really cool.” Craig pouted. Both of our phones buzzed at the same time. It was Kenny. The text read ‘the cops raided the party, like about of a hundred of us got arrested.’ He ended the text with a tongue out…

“What the fuck are you laughing at?!” My Mum comes stampeding in my room. She opens the door with such force that it almost flies off its hinges. At this point, whatever I was laughing at didn 't seem funny anymore. I wiped the tears away from my eyes to banish my blurred vision and regained eyesight, revealing a small yet frightening woman who resembled a bull that had seen red; she might as well have had hot steam coming out of her airways and been scraping away at my bedroom carpet with her…

tame it. Look at me. For no reason at all, I cheat on my wife with prostitutes. Then, I bust the prostitutes. Take their money. Their drugs. Sell it back to the pimps and pushers, blackmail for keeping them out of jail. Is that right? I don 't give a fuck. Power, kid. Why, if I wanted to, I could take you into a back alley and blow your brains out? But I won…

globe. We are all fucking snowmen in this winter-wonderland. Well, most of us, not me though. No, I refuse to follow the ways of these morons around me, who just go on with life as if nothing were wrong. Not giving a shit about anyone but themselves. Fuck people. Some moron, right now, is bitching about how his coffee being just a little too hot, while most of the world can’t even afford water. I’d kill them all, all the rude-ass people of this world, if I could. Well – I can,…

Sixth Grade Cabin Trip Therapist Dan: “So tell me more about your friend Xavier.” Me: “There’s not much to tell since he’s too busy working two jobs just to stay afloat.” Therapist Dan: “No, no, no. I mean tell me about what it was like growing up with Xavier. Perhaps a story about something you went through with him.” Me: “Toastmasters’ style?” Therapist Dan: “Sure.” It was our turn to go next. I was so nervous I hyperventilated. The stage crew was supposed to flash the spotlight on me before…