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32 Cards in this Set

  • Front
  • Back
Irrational Belief :
"Drinking is never a problem for me, even if I do lose control once in a while. It's other people who have a problem with the way I drink"
Rational dispute:
Losing control can be the first sign of a problem. If my drinking is a significant problem for others, sooner or later it will be for me.
Irrational Belief :
" I need to use drugs to relax!"
Rational dispute:
I want to use drugs but I don't have to use them just because I want to
Irrational Belief :
"I can't stand not having what I want; it is just too hard to tolerate"
Rational dispute:
I may not like it, but I have stood it in the pas and can do so now.
Irrational Belief :
"The only time I feel comfortable is when I'm high"
Rational dispute:
It is hard to learn to be comfortable wocially without drugs but people do so all the time
Irrational Belief :
"It would be to hard to stop drinking. I'd lose all my friends, be bored, and never be comfortable without it"
Rational dispute:
While stopping drinking and doing drugs might cost me some things and take time and effort, if i don't the consequences will be far worse.
Irrational Belief :
People who can't or don't drink are doomed to frustration and unhappiness
Rational dispute:
Wheres the evidence of that? I'll try going to an AA meeting and so some research on how frustrated and miserable these nondrinker actually are
Once youve stopped using and you see its all over, youre right back to whree you started and all your efforts only lead you to toal failure, "once an addict, always an addict.
Rational dispute:
A slip is only a new learning
experience toward recovery. It is not a failure, only a setback that can tell me what direction I need to go in now. It's my choice
What are the 7 basic response questions of the Meta Model?
1. who, what, where, when, how,specifically?
2. Can you say that about yourself?
3.What stops you? What would happen if you did/didn't?
4. Can you think of a time when you did/didn't?
5.How do you know?
6.How do they (you) make you (them) feel that way?
7. According to whom?
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:
"I can't love her!"
what stops you from loving her?

#3 what stops you?
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:
I'm depressed"
Waht is depressing you? what are you depressed about?
#1 specifics
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:
"My boss hates me!"
What do you experience when you say "I hate my boss"?

#2 (can you say that about
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:

"Everyone thinks I'm stupit"
Can you tell me one person who doesn't?

#4think of a situation otherwise?
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:

"That was a stupid thing to do"
Stupid according to whom?

#7 According to whom?
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:

I know he doesn't love me?"
How do you know?

#5 how do you know
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:
" I feel bad for making her unhappy"
what did you do that you believe made her unhappy?

#6
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:
"its better to do it my way"
for whom? compared to what? by what criteria?
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:
"she really frustrates me"
in what way? How, specifically
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:

"she doesn't look at me, so she's not listening."
A means B or A=B model
how do you know that?
What do they have to do or say for you to know that?
or
challenge the equation by applying to the speaker
use one of the 7 basic questions to respond:

"don't give me that look!"
how do you know?
have you confirmed your suspicions by checking it out with the person?
what is filtering?
taking negative details and magnifying them, while filtering out all positive aspects of a situation
what is polarized thinking?
thinking of thinks as black or white, good or bad , perfect or failure, with no middle ground
what is overgeneralization?
jumping to a general conclusion based on a single incident or piece of evidence
What is mind reading?
tjomlomg tjat udp,ryjomh niy upi fpm
what is personalization
thinking that everything people do or say is some kind of reaction to you; compuing yourslf to others; trying to determine who is smarter
What is contol fallacies
feeling externally controlled as hhelpless or a victim of fate or feeling internally controlled, responsible for the pain and happiness of everyone around.
what is Fallacy of fairness
feeling resentful because you think you know what is fair, even though other pople do not agree
what is blaming?
holding other people responsible for your pain or blaming yourself for every problem
what is emotional reasoning
believing that what you feel must be true, automatically
egl, if you feel stupid and boring then you must be
what is fallacy of change
expecting that other people will change to suit you if you pressure them enough; having to change people becuase your hopes for happiness seem to depend on them
what is Global labeling
generalizing one or two qualities into a negative global judgemnt
what is fallacy of Being right
proving that your opinions and actions are correct on a continual basis; thinking that being wrong is unthinkable;going to any length to prove that you are correct
Hwat is Heaven reward fallacy
expecting all sacrifice and self-denial to pay off, as if there were someone keeping score, and feeling disappointed an deven bitter whn the rewared does not come