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34 Cards in this Set

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All right, go ahead, say it.
Nothing for me to say, Lord. He points below: You see it as well as I.
looking down, shaking his head: What went wrong?.
Why look at it that way? They’re beautiful, they help each other, they praise You every few minutes –
Lucifer, they don’t multiply.
Maybe give them a few more years…
But there’s no sign of anything. Look at them—the middle of a perfect moonlit night, and they’re playing handball.
Well, You wanted them innocent.
Every once in a while, though, he does seem to get aroused.
Aroused, yes, but what’s the good if he doesn’t get it in the right place? And when he does, she walks off to pick a flower or something.
I can’t figure that out. Pause. They stare down.
Of course, You could always-- (he breaks off)
I don’t know why I stand for your superciliousness.
At least I don’t bore You like the rest of these spirits.
Sometimes I’d just as soon you did. What have you got in mind?
Now remember, You asked me.
What have you got in mind!
You see? You’re mad already.
roaring furiously: I am not mad!
All right, all right. You could take her back and restring her insides. Reroute everything , so wherever he goes in, it connects to the egg.
No-no-no, I don’t want to fool with that. She’s perfect now; I’m not tearing her apart again. Out of the question.
Well, then. You’ve only got one other choice. You’ve got to thin out the innocence down there. God turns to him suspiciously. See? You’re giving me that look again: whatever I say, You turn it into some kind of a plot. Like when You made that fish with the fur on. Throw him in the ocean, and all the angels run around screaming hosannahs. I come and tell You the thing’s drowned, and you’re insulted.
Yes. But I—I’ve stopped making fish with fur any more.
But before I can penetrate with a fact I’ve got to go through hell.
he suddenly points down: He’s putting his arm around her. Lucifer looks down: Lucifer! They both stretch over the edge to see better. Lucifer!! Suddenly, His expression changes to incredulity, then anger, and He throws up his hands in futile protest. Where in the world does he get those stupid ideas!
Still looking down. Now he’s going to sleep.
Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear. He sits disconsolately
Lord, the problem down there is that You’ve made it all so perfect. Everything they look at is not only good, its equally good. The sun is good, rats are good, the moon, lions, athlete’s foot—every single thing is just as good as every other thing.. Because, naturally, You created everything, so everything’s as attractive as everything else.
What’s so terrible about perfection? Except that you can’t stand it?
Well, simply – if You want him to go into her, into the right place, and stay there long enough, You’ll have to make that part better.
I am not remaking that woman.
It’s not necessary. All I’m saying is that sex has to be made not just good, but—well, terrific. Right now he’d just as soon pick his nose. In other words, You’ve got to rivet his attention on that one place.
How would I do that?
Well, let’s look at it. What is the one thing that makes him stop whatever he’s doing and pay strict attention?
What?
You, Lord. Soon as you appear, he, so to speak, comes erect. Give sex that same sort of holiness, make him feel toward it as he feels toward You, and he won’t be able to think of anything else. Pause.
How?
Well… (He hesitates a long moment, until God slowly turns to him with a suspicious look.) All right, look—there’s no way around it, I simply have to talk about those apples.
(stamps Her foot and stands, strides up and down. Trying to control his temper): Lucifer!
I refuse to believe that man’s only way to demonstrate his love for God is to refuse to eat some fruit!
(angered): Really now!
Forgive me, sir, but I am useless to you if I don’t speak my mind. May I tell you why I think You planted that tree in the garden? God is silent, but consenting, even if unwillingly. Objectively speaking, it is senseless. You wanted Adam’s praise for everything You made, absolutely innocent of any doubt about Your goodness. Why, then, plant a fruit which can only make him wise, sophisticated and analytical?
He must never eat those apples.
Then why have You tempted him? What is the point?
I wanted him to wake each morning, look at that tree and say, “For God’s sake I won’t eat these apples.” Not even one.
Fine. But with that same absence of curiosity he is not investigating Eve.
But the other animals manage.
Their females go into heat, and the balloon goes up. But Eve is ready almost any time, and that means no time. It’s part of that whole dreadful uniformity down there.
They are my children; I don’t want them to know evil.
Why call it evil? One apple, and he’ll know the difference between good and better. And once he knows that, he’ll be all over her. He looks down. Look, he’s kissing a tree. That damned fool has no way of discriminating.
looking down: Well, he should kiss trees too.
Fine. If that’s the way You feel, You’ve got Adam and Eve, and it’ll be a thousand years before you’re a grandparent. He stands. Think it over. I’d be glad to go down and—(God gives him a look.) I’m only trying to help!
Lucifer, I am way ahead of you.
Lord, that’s inevitable.
Stay away from that tree.
with a certain evasiveness: Whatever You say, Lord. May I go now?
after a pause: Don’t have the illusion that I am in conflict about this; I mean, don’t decide to go down there and do me a favor or something. I know perfectly well why I put that tree there.
surprised: Really!
Yes, really. I am in perfect control over my unconscious, friend. It was not to tempt Adam; that I created the apple tree; it’s I who was tempted. I finished him and I saw he was beautiful, and for a moment, I loved him beyond anything that I had ever made—and I thought, maybe I should let him see through the apple to its chemistry and the secrets of life. His praise for the simple made me impatient to show him the physics of my art, which would raise him to a god.
Why’d you change you’re mind?
Because I thought of what became of you. The one angel I loved before all the rest and took such care to teach – and you can’t take a breath without thinking how to overthrow me and take over the universe!
Lord, I only wanted them to know more, the more to praise You!
The more they know, the less they will need me, Lucifer; you know that as well as I! And that’s all you’re after, to grind away their respect for me. “Give them an apple!” If it weren’t for the Law of Conservation of Energy I would destroy you! Don’t go near that tree or those dear people – not in any form, you hear? They are innocent, and innocent they will remain till I turn out the lights forever! God goes out. Lucifer is alone.
Now what is She really saying? She put it there to tempt Herself! Therefore she’s not of one mind about innocence; and how could she be when innocence blinds Adam to half the wonders She has made? I will help the Lord. Yes, that’s the only way to put it; I’m Her helper.
--OFFSTAGE
I open up the marvels She dares not show, and thereby magnify Her glory. In short, I disobey what She says and carry out what She means, and if that’s evil, it’s only to do good. Strange—I never felt so close to my creator as I do right now! Once Adam eats, he’ll multiply, and Lucifer completes the lovely world of God! Oh, praise the Lord who gave me all this insight!
What?
Look, I don't want to mix in, and then You'll say I'm criticizing everything.