Speech V15- Chapter 11

Front 1

Failure event

Back 1

violations of understandings between people in a relationship

Front 2

reproach

Back 2

message that a failure event has occured

Front 3

account

Back 3

response to a reproach

Front 4

examples of accounts

Back 4

apologies

excuses

justifications

denials

absence of an account

Front 5

The dark side of interpersonal relationships

Back 5

There are 8:

Deception, Deception by omission, Deception by commission, communication that hurt feelings, obsessive relational intrusion, stalking, jealousy, relational violence.

Front 6

Deception by omission (Concealment)

Back 6

intentionally holding back some of the information another person has requested or that you are expected to share.

Front 7

deception by commisision

Back 7

deliberate presentation of false information

Front 8

Types of deceptions by commission.

Back 8

white lies, exaggeration (embellishment), and baldface lies.

Front 9

white lies

Back 9

slight degree of falsification that has a minimal consequences

Front 10

exaggeration

Back 10

"stretching the truth"

Front 11

baldface lie

Back 11

outright falsification of information intended to deceive the listener

Front 12

Reasons for deception

Back 12

to gain resources

to avoid harm or loss of resources

to protect one's self image

for entertainment

to protect another person's resources, self image or safety

Front 13

Three categories indentified by vangelisti and crumley of reactions to messages that hurt.

Back 13

active verbal responses, acquiescent responses and invulnerable responses

Front 14

active verbal responses

Back 14

reactive statements made in response to a hurtful message.

(counterattacks, self defense statements, sarcastic comments, demands for explanations)

Front 15

acquiescent responses

Back 15

crying, conceding, or apologizing in response to a hurtful message

Front 16

invulnerable response

Back 16

ignoring, laughing, or being silent in response to a hurtful message

Front 17

Obsessive relational intrusion

Back 17

repeated invasion of a person's privacy by a stranger or acquaintance who desires or assumes a close relationship

Front 18

examples of ORI

Back 18

trying to get some other person to disclose, offering unwanted gifts, notes, calls, arranging coincidental meetings, expressing desire for physical contact

Front 19

stalking

Back 19

involves repeated unwelcome intrusions that create concern for personal safety and fear in the target.

Front 20

Difference between stocking and ORI

Back 20

usually annoying and frustrating compared to being instilled fear.

Front 21

Jealousy

Back 21

the reaction to a threat of losing a valued relationship

Front 22

Steve Duck

Back 22

Developed a model to show stages in the ending of a relationship

Front 23

Provocation of the ending of a relationship

Back 23

partner reaches some threshold of dissatisfaction that prompts him or her to consider ending the relationship

Front 24

Phase 1 of the ending of a relationship

Back 24

intrapsychic phase

Front 25

intrapsychic phase

Back 25

when an individual engages in an internal evaluation of the partner

Front 26

Examples of intrapsychic phase

Back 26

focus on partners behavior

assess adequacy of partners role performance

evaluate negative aspects of relationship

assess costs of withdrawal

assess alternative relationships

Front 27

Second phase of ending relationship

Back 27

dyadic phase

Front 28

dyadic phase

Back 28

when individual discusses termination with the partner

Front 29

examples dyadic phase

Back 29

confront partner with thoughts and concerns

engage relationship talks

assess relationship jointly

assess cost of termination jointly

decide whether to repair, reconcile, or terminate

Front 30

Phase 3 of relationship termination

Back 30

Social Phase

Front 31

Examples of Social Phase

Back 31

Negotiate post dissolution state with partner

initiate gossip/discussion in social network

create face saving accounts, stories, blame to tell other people

(Call intervention)

Front 32

Social Phase

Back 32

members of the social network around both parties are informed of and become involved in the termination process

Front 33

Final phase relationship termination

Back 33

Grave dressing phase

Front 34

Grave dressing phase

Back 34

when the partners generate public explanations and move past the relationships

Front 35

How relationships end

Back 35

Fading away, sudden death, incrementalism

Front 36

fading away

Back 36

relationship dissolves slowly as intimacy declines.

Front 37

sudden death

Back 37

relationship ends abruptly, usually in response to some precipitating event

Front 38

incrementalism

Back 38

systemic progression of a relationship through each of the de-escalation stages

Front 39

Indirect termination strategies

Back 39

withdrawal, pseudo de-escalation, cost escalation

Front 40

withdrawal

Back 40

reducing the amount of contact without any explanation

Front 41

pseudo de-escalation

Back 41

claiming a desire for less intimacy, when you really want out

Front 42

cost escalation

Back 42

increasing relational cost to encourage the other to end the relationship

Front 43

Direct Termination Strategies

Back 43

Negative identity management, justification, de-escalation, positive tone

Front 44

Negative identity management

Back 44

directly stating a desire to end the relationship without concern for the other persons feelings

Front 45

justification

Back 45

directly stating a desire to end relationship with an explanation of the reasons

Front 46

de-escalation

Back 46

directly stating a desire to lower the level of intimacy or move toward termination

Front 47

positive tone

Back 47

directly stating a desire to end relationship while affirming the other person's value