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18 Cards in this Set

  • Front
  • Back
Temporary casual convenience:
These people share the same living quarters because it is more expedient to do so.
• The affectionate dating couples:
These couples live together because they enjoy each other’s company. Don’t plan on getting married, they move on eventually
• The trail marriage couples
These are engaged to be engaged. They are living together because they want to know more about each other and deal with that or not.
• The temporary alternative to marriage:
Committed to stay together, but they can’t legalize their marriage. Could be like they are going to graduate school, or one isn’t married
• The permanent alternative to marriage:
these are couples who have no desire to get married. They have been together a long time. Oprah & Stedman. Susan Surandon and Tim Robbins.
Why have people started living together? (2 reasons)
Its become more popular was in the 1960s and the baby boom. They had free love. Another reasons is that people’s exposure to opposite sex increased because of more people going to college.
Different from marriage in a few fundamental ways
• Presumption of the length: When you are living with someone they think its temporary.
• The public vs. Private nature: A marriage and having a wedding, those are public events. You have engagement and marriage announcing. When you are living together you don’t announce it, its private
• There is no language for it: It is different. In discussing in marriage you say this is my fiancé, this is my husband, this is my spouse. No one wants to use the term lover.
• Institutions: They aren’t there. The laws that are in place aren’t there (tax breaks, etc.). But they are starting to change that.
Step one about Marriage
It sends a message of unavailability to potential suitors.

o The Engagement ring.
o Nowadays women are getting their men a ring so they know they are off the market
o One point there was company who rented rings, but it is a major aspect.
Step two about marriage
gives you a chance to know family and friends.

o While you may assume they have had a chance to meet the family that is not always the case.
Step 3 about marriage
It gives you a chance to get to know each other’s health issues.

o That is what a blood test used to do.
Step 4 about marriage
Legitmates pre-marital counseling
Step 5 about marriage
Legitimizes co habililation
Cuber & Harroff #1 The Conflict Habituated marriage
o These couples constantly argue.
o Most arguments are never settled.
o Do not believe in divorce, but they will stay married even if they are unhappy.
Cuber & Harroff • 2. Devitalized Marriages
o Consist of couples in love when they got married
o They just grow apart and aren’t in love anymore.
o Other things get in the way: getting ahead at work, or taking the kids to the game. The love is no longer there.
The Passive Congenial Marriages #3 C & H
o These are people who marry with low emotional expectations.
o They may be marrying their best friend but they aren’t in love with that person.
o They take a practical approach to the marriage.
o Okay were 35; if we aren’t married by 40 we’ll just get married.
o They get emotional needs from other areas like friends
4. C & H Vital Marriages
o The ideal marriage.
o Argue very little.
o They are in love.
o They are just happy.
#5 C & H The Total Marriages
o Couples that do everything together
o They work, vacation, dress alike, and all that together.
Agriculture Department put study out for how much it costs to raise children
• If you are in middle income family
o $1.45 million for 1 kid
• Upper class
o $2.78 million
• Lower class
o $761,871