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34 Cards in this Set

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4 Arguments for the Need to Belong (Baumeister & Leary, 1995)


We need to belong because...

Evolutionary needs – need for relationships helps individuals and offspring survive


Universal needs– all cultures have similar types of social relationships and dynamics


Can be Satiable – it can be satisfied like other basic human needs


Consequences if you do not belong – being cut off from others is bad for mental and physical health

Two Ingredients to Belongingness

-Regular social contact Stable,


-ongoing relationship


(Not mutually exclusive – results in only positive satisfaction)

Long term short term

Interpersonal relationships:


Extended attachments between two or more individuals due to bonds of friendship, family, love, respect, or hierarchy

Challengesin Relationship Research

-Manystudies of relationships are not true experiments because they cant be forced a certain way


-Mustuse natural experiments and longitudinal methods


-Problemof self-selectionPeoplechoose their relationships; we can’texperimentally assign people to form extended, lasting social bondsb

Evidencefor the Need to Belong

-Harlow’sMonkeys - importance of early social contact for normal development


-Feralchildren

Twotypes of relationships (Clark & Milles, 1979)

-Communal relationships: long term,loving,caring (e.g community)


-Exchange relationships: give and take relationship, you get something (eg. money,sex) out of it but no true feelings

Socialexchange theory:

-we are more likely to be w/ someone who gives us rewards


-Wecan get others to like us by rewarding them

Factorsused to evaluate costs and rewards in relationships

-Comparison level: what you think you deserve in a relationship


-Comparison level for alternatives: what ppl think they can get from the relationship


-Equity theory: when ppl are motivated to be fair in a relationship

Attachment theory

-early attachments with parents and other caregivers shape relationships

Strange situation

-experiment procedure in which an infant’sreaction is observed after the mother leaves the child in a room with astranger and then returns to the room

Three different styles of adult attachment

-Secure:relatively easy to get close too thers


-Avoidant: somewhat uncomfortable being close;I find it difficult to trust


-Anxious-ambivalent:I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesn’t really love me or won’t stay with me.

Attachment Dimensions

-Anxiety dimension: worried about rejection and abandonment by relationship partners


-Avoidance dimension: comfortable with intimacy and dependence on relationship partners


Stabilityof Attachment Styles

-stable throughout life


-but different attachment style acrossdifferent relationships


-attachment style within a givenrelationship is not always stable (depends on culture

Attraction and Proximity

-Proximityinfluences who becomes friends and romantic partners


-Proximityfacilitates chance encounters


-MIT student housing project


-friendshipswith people of differentracesor ages were between those who lived on the same floor

Mere exposure effect

-repeated exposure to a stimulus leads to greater liking of the it


-mirror (we prefer the mirror image)


-rats and music exp (cross,1967)

Why does mere repeated exposure lead to liking?

-Fluency:Easier to process information about familiar stimuli


-Classical conditioning


-social allergy effect = the opposite effect partner's annoying habit gets worse over time (buzzfeed)

similarity in relationships

-birds of a feather flock together


-couples were more similar on 66 of88 different traits


-interracial couples have more similar traits


-male college students in a dorm

Complementarity

-people to seek out others withcharacteristics that are different from theirs


-beauty and the beast

Physical attraction

-playsan important role in interpersonal attraction


-find those they already like to bemore attractive


-couples tend to perceive each otheras physically attractive (even if they are not


-not always stable

Benefitsof being attractive

-More popular


-Theirwork is evaluated more favorably


-Morelikely to receive help when needed

Haloeffect

-belief that attractive ppl have lots of good qualities


-successful,likable, intelligent, happier, more popular and personable


-studies show they are actually happier


-self fulfilling prohecies

Attraction to Averageness

-Faces that are more average (less abnormal) are seen as more attractive


-Exaggerated features can also be seen as more attractive

Bilateral Symmetry

-departures from symmetry typicallyresult from injuries to an organism in utero,parasites,infectious diseases

Evolutionary Perspectives of gender differences

-Women more selective in theirchoice of mate cuz they want to have good offspring and resources


-Men have greater desire for moresexual partners cuz they dont need to have offspring


-Femalemate preferences change during ovulation

Culturaly perspectives on gender differences

Insocieties where genders have equal power, the greater female emphasis onfinding a mate with status and economic resources is lessened

3Categories of Love

-Companionate love:mutual understanding and caring (aka affectionate love )


- Compassionate love: communal relationship, that focuses responding to another person’s needs


-Romantic love: intense emotion and sexual desire, (aka passionatelove )

Natureof Love (Robert Sternberg)

-Passion, Intimacy and Committment


-need all three

Investment model of commitment

-A model of interpersonal relationships maintaining that three determinants make partners more committed to each other


-Satisfaction,Few alternative partners and Investments in the relationship

Marital Dissatisfaction

-50% of first marriages end inseparation


-less satisfying today than theywere 30 years ago


-Unhappy marriages have long-termconsequences

Top predictors of divorce

-Personality


-Demographic factors (low SES)


-Age (too young)

4 behaviours harmful to relationships


(The “FourHorsemen of the Apocalypse”)

-Criticism


-Defensiveness


- Stonewalling(withdrawal from partner, refusal to interact emotionally)


-Contempt(looking down on one’s partner; especially predictive ofthe relationship ending when contempt from women is directed at men

John Gottman and Robert Levenson

-Interaction dynamics approach


-Videotaped married couples engaged in intense conversation about intense source of conflict


-Interactions coded by researchers for positive and negative behaviours

Creating Stronger Romantic Bonds (3 ways)

-Capitalizing on the good


-Being playful


-Looking on the bright side

Benefitsof arranged marriages

-Avoidmismatches


-Morerespectful in-laws


-Avoiddisappointment as passion fades