Reading...
Play button
Play button
Use LEFT and RIGHT arrow keys to navigate between flashcards;
Use UP and DOWN arrow keys to flip the card;
H to show hint;
A reads text to speech;
35 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
|
Eli: You said you wanted to see me. Are there people there?
|
Interviewer: Yes
|
|
|
Eli: The doctors saw her yesterday. They said that they were going to change the medication, and after that, they weren’t sure but they must have told you all this.
|
Interviewer: Yes.
|
|
|
Eli: Oh. What...What was it you wanted to know, then. I’ve done everything, just like the nurse tells me. I’ve been very careful to...
|
Interviewer: No. No. It isn't that, you’re doing very well with her. Much better than anyone could ask.
|
|
|
Eli: Then... what?
|
Interviewer: Well we were just wondering how you were?
|
|
|
Eli: Oh. I’m fine. Is that what you mean? I’m fine. I’m a little tired and sometimes a headache. I used to get headaches.
|
Interviewer: Oh?
|
|
|
Eli: Yes. Terrible headaches. Mama always said they were psychosomatic. She said if I concentrated hard enough, they would go away.
|
Interviewer: And did they?
|
|
|
Eli: As a matter of fact, they did. Not right away. But after a wile ...
|
Interview: Do you still get them? The headaches. |
|
|
Eli: I don’t know. I used to get them so often. Now sometimes I don't know I have them until they go away. You get used to them and you don't feel any different until they’re gone..what was it you wanted to ask me?
|
Interviewer: Tell us about Claire.
|
|
|
Eli: What?
|
Interviewer: your sister, Claire... Felicity has been telling us that...
|
|
|
Eli: Oh, Claire...Claire is my sister
|
Interviewer: Yes.
|
|
|
Eli: We were very close, our whole family. Especially after my father died, we were just children then. Mama worked very hard to keep us together, we had a dairy farm, it was a beautiful place. Big, old house 1987. So much land, it seemed even bigger then. I was so little, we were very happy and then Claire... there was a boy, well she left us, just like that. She was a lot like Mama, they would fight and yell and throw things at each other. They got along very well, Claire was beautiful. I would hide in my room, I got so frightened when they fought, but I don’t know, suddenly the fight would be over and Mama would throw open her arms and curse the day she bore children and Claire would laugh and then Mama would laugh and hug her close and then all of us, we would laugh. I can still hear us, but she left and we never heard from her. Almost a year, the longest year I can remember. Mama waited and waited, but she never wrote or came back to visit, nothing. And then one morning, we received a phone call from a man in Louisiana. There was an accident, something and Claire was dead. They said at first they thought she was going to be all right, but she was hemorrhaging and, this is very hard to remember.
|
Interviewer: But these letters from Claire.
|
|
|
Eli: Yes. You see, it was after Claire died that Mama started to get sick. All of a sudden, she was ‘old.’ And she isn’t, you know. But she just seemed to give up. I couldn’t bring her out of it it. Claire could have but I couldn’t. We lost the farm, the house, everything. One thing led to another. The letters, it was after one of the last operations. Mama came home from the hospital and she seemed very happy she was much stronger than ever. She laughed and joked and made fun of me, just like she used to and then she told me she had written a letter while she was in the hospital to Claire and she said, she was very nice to her and she forgave her for not writing and keeping in touch and she asked her to come home to visit and to bring her children. Claire had been dead for a long time then. I didn’t know what to do I tried to tell her, I tried but she wouldn't listen and of course, no letter came, no reply and Mama asked every day for the mail, every day I had to tell her no, there wasn’t any, every day, I kept hoping she would forget, but she didn’t. And when there wasn’t any letter for a long time, she started to get worse. She wouldn’t talk and when she did, she accused me of being jealous and hiding the letters and I didn’t know what to do, So...
|
Interviewer: How long have you been writing these letters?
|
|
|
Eli: Almost two years... You’re not angry with me, are you?
|
Interviewer: No.
|
|
|
Eli: It means so much to her. It’s important to her. It’s something to hope for. You have to have something. People need something to keep them going.
|
Interviewer: Do they?
|
|
|
Eli: Yes. Sometimes I think, if we can wait long enough, something will happen. Oh, not that Mama will get better, but something. So I write the letters I don't mind. It’s not difficult. I read little things in books and newspapers and I make up what’s happening. Sometimes I just write whatever comes into my head. You see, Mama doesn't really listen to them anymore, she used to. It used to be the only time I could talk to her. But now it doesn’t matter what they say. It’s just so she knows that Claire is coming.
|
Interviewer: What happens when Claire doesn’t show up?
|
|
|
Eli: Oh, But I don't think that will happen. I, mean, Mama....well, she won’t... I mean...
|
Interviewer: You mean she’ll probably die before she even finds out.
|
|
|
Eli: Yes.
|
Interviewer: What will you do then Eli?
|
|
|
Eli: It makes her happy.
|
Interviewer: Does it make you happy?
|
|
|
Eli: Me?
|
Interviewer: Yes
|
|
|
Eli: Please, I... I should be getting back.
|
Interviewer: Eli?
|
|
|
Eli: The pain is much worse. This medicine you’ve given her... it doesn’t help.
|
Interviewer: Yes we know. It may be necessary to move her up to the hospital again.
|
|
|
Eli: But you said before....
|
Interviewer: I know....
|
|
|
Eli: And now...
|
Interviewer: Its hard to say.
|
|
|
Eli: No.
|
Interviewer: I’m sorry.
|
|
|
Eli: No, you’re not sorry. You don’t know anything about sorry. You put her in some room. You do one more operation. You wrap her up in your machines. You scribble on her chart. And then you go away. You don’t know about sorry.
|
Interviewer: We had thought that it wouldn’t go on this long, but there’s nothing we can do about it.
|
|
|
Eli: But I don’t want it to go on. You promised...it can’t! Even when she’s asleep now, she has dreams. I can tell. I hear them. You keep saying, a few days, a few days. But it’s weeks and months... all winter and now the spring...
|
Interviewer: She has a strong will.
|
|
|
Eli: Oh, yes. I know that.
|
Interviewer: Sometimes that’s enough to keep a very sick person alive for a very long time.
|
|
|
Eli: But why? Why? When it hurts so bad? Why does she want to keep going like this? Why?
|
Interviewer: She’s waiting for Claire.
|
|
|
Eli: What...? What did you say?
|
Interviewer: It’s what we call ‘making a bargain.’ She’s made up her mind that she’s not going to die until Claire arrives.
|
|
|
Eli: Oh, no...no
|
Interviewer: ...It might easily be the reason. Now that you’ve explained about the letters.
|
|
|
Eli: ...no...no...it isn’t true....it isn’t...
|
Interviewer: Perhaps it isn’t....
|
|
|
Eli: It isn't wrong to hope...waiting for... Claire...no...she can’t... she can’t do that...she can’t!
|
Interviewer: Eli...
|
|
|
Eli: No. Please. I have to go... I have to go back...
|
Interviewer: Eli, Listen to me....
|
|
|
Eli: No!..... I don't want to.
|
Interviewer: Will you come back tomorrow?
|
|
|
Eli: Tomorrow? ...Yes...
|
Interviewer: All right, then.
|
