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37 Cards in this Set

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What is habit 5?
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. The habit of mutual understanding
Ineffective: I listen with the intent to _______.
Effective: I listen with the intent to ________.
Ineffective: I listen with the intent to reply
Effective: I listen with the intent to understand
To communicate effectively, we must first _________ ____ _____.
To communicate effectively, we must first understand each other
What is one of the biggest obstacles in interpersonal communcation?
Our tendency to respond autobiographically, meaning from our own frame of reference.
What are the 4 autobiographical responses?
1. Advising: Giving counsel, advice and solutions to problems
2. Probing: Asking questions from our own frame of reference or agenda.
3. Interpreting: Explaining another's motives and behavior based on our own experience; trying to figure people out
4. Evaluating: Judging, and either agreeing or disagreeing
What is empathetic listening?
Reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words. Not listening to advise or anything else.
What is the breakdown of what we say and how it is interpreted?
Words we use: 7%
How we say words, tone of voice, style: 38%
Facial expressions, body language: 55%
When the signal is red, you should stop talking and listen empathetically because,
1. There is high emotion
2. You must get to the heart of an issue
3. You feel you don't understand
4. The other person doesn't feel understood
What should you do when the signal is yellow?
Slow down. Watch and be ready to listen empathetically
Go forward and seek to be understood when the signal is green and (3):
1. The issue is clear and mutually understood
2. The conversation is casual and unemotional
3. You're asked to give counsel or advice.
What is the key to being understood?
Understanding the needs, concerns, and priorities of the other person first.
What percentage of people genuinely listen to each other, honestly seeking to understand the viewpoints of others?
48%
When you seek to be understood, keep the __________ perspective in mind.
the other person's
What is habit 6?
Synergize. The habit of creative cooperation
Ineffective: It's either ____ _____, or ____ _____ or a ______.
Effective: Together we can ____ a _______ _____, a __________ _______.
Ineffective: It's either your way, or my way, or a compromise
Effective: Together we can create a better way, a higher way
What is the principle of habit 6?
The whole is greater than the sum of it's parts
What is synergizing?
It is a creative process of interacting that highly effective people use that explores new possibilities to benefit all parties involved. At its best, the process results in the Third Alternative.
Synergizing is: (6)
1. Results-oriented, positive energy
2. Examining, exploring, and seeking different perspectives openly enough to alter or complete your paradigm
3. Win-win cooperation
4. having a mutually agreed-upon end in mind
5. Worth the effort and highly effective
6. A disciplined process
Synergizing is NOT: (6)
1. A brainstorming free-for-all that leads nowhere
2. Accepting others' ideas as full truth
3. Win-lose competition
4. Groupthink (giving in to peer pressure)
5. Always easy
6. Just a negotiation technique
What percentage of people actively seek out differing viewpoints?
32%
What are the 4 types of interaction?
1. Synergy- Third alternative (1+1=3, 10, 100) Outcome: Transformation
2. Compromise 1+1=1 1/2 Outcome: Transaction
3. Defensiveness 1+1=1/2 Outcome: Contention
4. Hostility 1+1=-1,-10,-100
What are the 3 steps of getting to synergy?
1. Check Willingness: Be willing to search for a solution that is better than what either of you has in mind.
2. Reflect Viewpoints: Restate the other's viewpoint to his or her satisfaction before you state your own.
3. Create new ideas: Propose and refine new ideas. Go back for further understanding until you arrive at a Third Alternative.
What is one of the most often reasons people are unwilling to search for a third alternative?
A lack of trust
You'll know you've created a third alternative when you both: (5)
1. Have a change of heart
2. Feel new energy and excitement
3. See things in a new way
4. Feel the relationship has transformed
5. End up with an idea that is better than what either of you started with
Once you've achieved mutual understanding, _________ and ______ alternatives. Keep _______ and _______ until you've reached a third alternative.
Once you've achieved mutual understanding, propose and refine alternatives. Keep refining and creating until you reach a third alternative.
What is habit number 7?
Sharpen the saw, The habit of renewal
Ineffective: I focus only on ______ the ______ ______.
Effective: I nurture the ________ that lays the ________ ________.
Ineffective: I focus only on getting the golden eggs
Effective: I nurture the goose that lays the golden eggs
To ________ and ____________ effectiveness, we must _________ ________ in body, heart, mind, and soul.
To maintain and increase effectiveness, we must renew ourselves in body, heart, mind and soul.
What are the 4 dimensions you need to renew regularly in?
1. Physical: Exercise, nutrition, rest, stress management
2. Social/Emotional: Consistent deposits in the EA's of key relationships
3. Mental: Reading, writing, learning, study
4. Spiritual: Service, values, clarification, inspiring literature, meditation, nature
What is the number one reason people leave their jobs?
Poor relationships with their managers
What was the major factor contributing to satisfaction in a study of marriages lasting 25 years or more?
The ability to solve problems together.
What can increase lifespan?
Lifespan increases in direct proportion to the amount of contact people have with their close friends
What are 7 suggestions to renew yourself emotionally?
1. Keep making deposits into your EBA
2. Value differences in others and look for opportunities to synergize
3. Practive empathetic listening
4. Widen your circle of friends
5. Forgive yourself and others
6. Build family relationships
7. Let go of the damaging competitive feelngs toward others
What are 5 suggestions to renew yourself mentally?
1. Keep a journal
2. Read voraciously.
3. Collect quotations
4. Develop a hobby
5. Continue your education
What are 7 ways to renew yourself spiritually?
1. Create, review, and refine your personal mission statement.
2. Watch, listen, and enjoy the world of nature.
3. Read inspirational literature
4. Commit to a life of integrity to your priorities
5. Listen to uplifting, inspirational music
6. Commit to serve in your community
7. Practice spiritual worship that edifies
What can reading biographies do for us?
Teach us empathy. "encouraging us to inhabit someone elses world"
What percentage of people plan activities that allow them to continuously improve their performance?
34%