Senior Seminar4

Front 1

What is habit 5?

Back 1

Seek first to understand, then to be understood. The habit of mutual understanding

Front 2

Ineffective: I listen with the intent to _______.
Effective: I listen with the intent to ________.

Back 2

Ineffective: I listen with the intent to reply
Effective: I listen with the intent to understand

Front 3

To communicate effectively, we must first _________ ____ _____.

Back 3

To communicate effectively, we must first understand each other

Front 4

What is one of the biggest obstacles in interpersonal communcation?

Back 4

Our tendency to respond autobiographically, meaning from our own frame of reference.

Front 5

What are the 4 autobiographical responses?

Back 5

1. Advising: Giving counsel, advice and solutions to problems
2. Probing: Asking questions from our own frame of reference or agenda.
3. Interpreting: Explaining another's motives and behavior based on our own experience; trying to figure people out
4. Evaluating: Judging, and either agreeing or disagreeing

Front 6

What is empathetic listening?

Back 6

Reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words. Not listening to advise or anything else.

Front 7

What is the breakdown of what we say and how it is interpreted?

Back 7

Words we use: 7%
How we say words, tone of voice, style: 38%
Facial expressions, body language: 55%

Front 8

When the signal is red, you should stop talking and listen empathetically because,

Back 8

1. There is high emotion
2. You must get to the heart of an issue
3. You feel you don't understand
4. The other person doesn't feel understood

Front 9

What should you do when the signal is yellow?

Back 9

Slow down. Watch and be ready to listen empathetically

Front 10

Go forward and seek to be understood when the signal is green and (3):

Back 10

1. The issue is clear and mutually understood
2. The conversation is casual and unemotional
3. You're asked to give counsel or advice.

Front 11

What is the key to being understood?

Back 11

Understanding the needs, concerns, and priorities of the other person first.

Front 12

What percentage of people genuinely listen to each other, honestly seeking to understand the viewpoints of others?

Back 12

48%

Front 13

When you seek to be understood, keep the __________ perspective in mind.

Back 13

the other person's

Front 14

What is habit 6?

Back 14

Synergize. The habit of creative cooperation

Front 15

Ineffective: It's either ____ _____, or ____ _____ or a ______.
Effective: Together we can ____ a _______ _____, a __________ _______.

Back 15

Ineffective: It's either your way, or my way, or a compromise
Effective: Together we can create a better way, a higher way

Front 16

What is the principle of habit 6?

Back 16

The whole is greater than the sum of it's parts

Front 17

What is synergizing?

Back 17

It is a creative process of interacting that highly effective people use that explores new possibilities to benefit all parties involved. At its best, the process results in the Third Alternative.

Front 18

Synergizing is: (6)

Back 18

1. Results-oriented, positive energy
2. Examining, exploring, and seeking different perspectives openly enough to alter or complete your paradigm
3. Win-win cooperation
4. having a mutually agreed-upon end in mind
5. Worth the effort and highly effective
6. A disciplined process

Front 19

Synergizing is NOT: (6)

Back 19

1. A brainstorming free-for-all that leads nowhere
2. Accepting others' ideas as full truth
3. Win-lose competition
4. Groupthink (giving in to peer pressure)
5. Always easy
6. Just a negotiation technique

Front 20

What percentage of people actively seek out differing viewpoints?

Back 20

32%

Front 21

What are the 4 types of interaction?

Back 21

1. Synergy- Third alternative (1+1=3, 10, 100) Outcome: Transformation
2. Compromise 1+1=1 1/2 Outcome: Transaction
3. Defensiveness 1+1=1/2 Outcome: Contention
4. Hostility 1+1=-1,-10,-100

Front 22

What are the 3 steps of getting to synergy?

Back 22

1. Check Willingness: Be willing to search for a solution that is better than what either of you has in mind.
2. Reflect Viewpoints: Restate the other's viewpoint to his or her satisfaction before you state your own.
3. Create new ideas: Propose and refine new ideas. Go back for further understanding until you arrive at a Third Alternative.

Front 23

What is one of the most often reasons people are unwilling to search for a third alternative?

Back 23

A lack of trust

Front 24

You'll know you've created a third alternative when you both: (5)

Back 24

1. Have a change of heart
2. Feel new energy and excitement
3. See things in a new way
4. Feel the relationship has transformed
5. End up with an idea that is better than what either of you started with

Front 25

Once you've achieved mutual understanding, _________ and ______ alternatives. Keep _______ and _______ until you've reached a third alternative.

Back 25

Once you've achieved mutual understanding, propose and refine alternatives. Keep refining and creating until you reach a third alternative.

Front 26

What is habit number 7?

Back 26

Sharpen the saw, The habit of renewal

Front 27

Ineffective: I focus only on ______ the ______ ______.
Effective: I nurture the ________ that lays the ________ ________.

Back 27

Ineffective: I focus only on getting the golden eggs
Effective: I nurture the goose that lays the golden eggs

Front 28

To ________ and ____________ effectiveness, we must _________ ________ in body, heart, mind, and soul.

Back 28

To maintain and increase effectiveness, we must renew ourselves in body, heart, mind and soul.

Front 29

What are the 4 dimensions you need to renew regularly in?

Back 29

1. Physical: Exercise, nutrition, rest, stress management
2. Social/Emotional: Consistent deposits in the EA's of key relationships
3. Mental: Reading, writing, learning, study
4. Spiritual: Service, values, clarification, inspiring literature, meditation, nature

Front 30

What is the number one reason people leave their jobs?

Back 30

Poor relationships with their managers

Front 31

What was the major factor contributing to satisfaction in a study of marriages lasting 25 years or more?

Back 31

The ability to solve problems together.

Front 32

What can increase lifespan?

Back 32

Lifespan increases in direct proportion to the amount of contact people have with their close friends

Front 33

What are 7 suggestions to renew yourself emotionally?

Back 33

1. Keep making deposits into your EBA
2. Value differences in others and look for opportunities to synergize
3. Practive empathetic listening
4. Widen your circle of friends
5. Forgive yourself and others
6. Build family relationships
7. Let go of the damaging competitive feelngs toward others

Front 34

What are 5 suggestions to renew yourself mentally?

Back 34

1. Keep a journal
2. Read voraciously.
3. Collect quotations
4. Develop a hobby
5. Continue your education

Front 35

What are 7 ways to renew yourself spiritually?

Back 35

1. Create, review, and refine your personal mission statement.
2. Watch, listen, and enjoy the world of nature.
3. Read inspirational literature
4. Commit to a life of integrity to your priorities
5. Listen to uplifting, inspirational music
6. Commit to serve in your community
7. Practice spiritual worship that edifies

Front 36

What can reading biographies do for us?

Back 36

Teach us empathy. "encouraging us to inhabit someone elses world"

Front 37

What percentage of people plan activities that allow them to continuously improve their performance?

Back 37

34%