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51 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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Why feelings of intensity when visiting the sick?
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Hospital is not our territory; someone else is in charge; foreign to our vocation; staff seems to know what they are doing and why while we aren’t always sure about what we are doing and if its helpful
When sick person asks certain questions, we seem to lack answers; we feel inadequate; unsure of what to say or do that would be of most value to the other person Seeing the attack made on the physical body of the person; we fear for ourselves as we identify with the sick person; sometimes reminded of family who suffered and died in hospital |
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Cope in crisis counseling process
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Inventory problem-solving resources
Assist in decision making Emphasize relationship with others Summarize new learning On the basis of the needs and available resources we look at what the person needs to do to help themselves, assist in their decisions as to what is relevant to their situation and how to act on it |
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Focus in crisis counseling process
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explore the present situation;
identify the threat purpose is to go into detail about the person’s reactions to the event so as to clarify the reason that the person and the time responded to the event with the intensity of threat found in the feelings and behaviors the person is having in this crisis |
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Contact in crisis counseling
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Establish the relationship
Identify the presenting problem and the precipitating event Assist catharsis Build hopeful expectation must initiate the search for the event if the person does not identify it; must be first thing done to determine if person is on a situational crisis or not. If no event identified, ask 2 questions: When did you first notice your beginning to feel this way? Can you think of anything that happened in your life shortly before that time that was different in any way? |
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3 elements of crisis counseling process
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contact, focus, cope
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Development of a crisis situation
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identifiable external event;
Event is consciously or unconsciously interpreted as a threat (anxiety) - If learned methods of reducing anxiety aren’t effective… Anxiety increases; trial and error behaviors are used to reduce anxiety; if these behaviors are not effective… Rise of anxiety; failure to cope; out of control, helpless, confused, depressed, etc. = situational crisis |
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What is a situational crisis?
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an event experienced as a serious threat - seen as anxiety producing, angering, difficult, etc; usually experienced as loss of threat of lost
Not the event that causes situation Critical factors: how a person interprets the event from the point of view of that person’s conscious and unconscious needs whether the event is or is not viewed as a threat how well or poorly a person has learned to deal with intense anxiety the number of resources available to a person their flexibility in utilizing various resources person moves quickly into a situational crisis and usually moves fairly quickly out of it; usually resolved in no longer than 6 weeks makes up most pastoral care done in a congregation Persons can be judged to have situational crisis when: their disturbance has begun mot more than 6 weeks before an external event logically connected with the particular symptoms of disturbance precedes the onset of the symptoms by no more than a few days |
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Immediacy in facilitative conditions of helping relationship
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Relationship immediacy: The helping person either initiates or responds openly/directly to the other person’s initiating a conversation of the over relationship between them and how it was developed
Here-and-now immediacy: Focuses on what is going on between the persons right at the very moment and what the meaning of it might be |
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Confrontation in facilitative conditions of helping relationship
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Attentiveness to the helper to a variety of inconsistencies the person is expressing in words and behavior
Every confrontation is a type of crisis for the person; a discrepancy between self-image and behavior Gives an opportunity for repentance and growth; there is no growth without an honest and courageous and open response to the person’s discrepancies |
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self-disclosure in facilitative conditions of helping relationship
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Critical of the other person to know we are human beings and not just the positions we hold
Can be useful for them to hear us share a feeling/experience – with the prior condition of our genuineness We must grow in our ability to judge their readiness to pay attention to us and assess what we share and for us to lay it aside if the disclosure does not seem to fit into the pastoral conversation Be careful in choice of words so that we don’t seem: Unduly calling attention to ourselves rather than being concerned with the other To be trying to coerce the other into believing what we believe To be forcing advice on them Self-disclosure should always be evaluate in light of the other person’s need and readiness to respond; not based on our need to disclose ourselves |
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Genuineness in facilitative conditions of helping relationship
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Degree of awareness we have of our own feelings and motivations
Both our accurate hearing of the other and the accuracy and clarity of our verbal responses are affected by the degree of our self-awareness; attention/energy given to our own self-protection take our attention and energy away from the one we are to be helping |
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Concreteness in facilitative conditions of helping relationship
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Prerequisite of accurate empathy
Simplicity and clarity of speaking, asking questions about what expressions or words mean, etc We cannot communicate empathy unless we are sure or almost sure what the feeling of the person is |
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Respect in facilitative conditions of helping relationship
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The other person feels more and more like a worthwhile human being as a result of our investing ourselves in the relationship by trying to see their point of view; valuing of a person is an essential factor in the helping process
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Empathy in facilitative conditions of helping relationship
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Persistent attempt to understand what the others person has just said about themselves and to check the we have accurately understood it – understanding the experiences, feelings and their intensity that have just been expressed in immediately preceding statements of the other person
Demonstrate our understanding of what was just said so consistently that they are empowered to look at themselves more accurately and being to understand themselves in a what the issues before them become clearer frequently with words of understanding; not only are we communicating our own understanding, but at the same time we are expressing our value of the person |
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7 facilitative conditions of helping relationship
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Empathy, respect, concreteness, genuineness, self-disclosure, confrontation, immediacy
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Personhood of pastor
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Caring (attitude and behavior) is always limited by the nature and intensity of our own needs and repressed feelings and conflict – you need to understand yourself better if you are going to help the other person
must never overlook the possibility that we’re not being caring in a way that is effective intuition can be educated and made more accurately perceptive by understanding yourself better, and your loving and caring can be made more effective by learning how to respond more helpfully in different types of situations with different people in a more consistent manner Must increase continually in 2 kinds of knowledge: knowledge of ourselves and of what to do in a variety of situations |
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relationship b/w caring, empathy and agape
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goal of caring is that the other person experiences an increase in their own ability to care
Empathy, too, as a characteristic of human beings, is both a primary means and major goal of particular forms of a helping process Agape, which is an attitude toward others expressed in actions on their behalf, is a power which has the tendency to produce a like response in the other – “We love, because God first loved us” Produce a like response in the client All require words and acts appropriate to the condition and situation of the particular client Not sufficient to feel caring or want to care or to be empathetic; all of these require their open expression in words and acts at a particular time; the need of helping a person is not just a certain attitude/feelings but competence in the behaviors of helping |
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distinguish caring from empathy and agape
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from Old Gothic word kara, meaning something like mental suffering, grief, burdened state of mind; to grieve or be troubled about – to carry a burden for or along with the person
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distinguish empathy from caring and agape
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Seeing our self in the other person; there is no one that we don’t have some kind of identification with – this is what it means to be empathetic
Empathy offers guidelines as to how to respond helpfully/competently with words and action to and on behalf of the other person – thus caring as “suffering with” becomes agape: effective, concrete acts that assist the growth/actualization of the other |
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distinguish agape from caring and empathy
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In NT usage – benevolence to one’s neighbor manifested in concrete actions; agape love means action for well-being for another regardless of feeling or the nature of the relationship
inseparably connected to caring in the NT |
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Courage in 8 ingredients of caring
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a pre-req for ingredient of hope; there is a risk involved in investing our self in caring with out knowing what the outcome will be
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Hope in 8 ingredients of caring
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not an expression of insufficiency of the present compared to future, but expression of plenitude of the present
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Humility in 8 ingredients of caring
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never thinking we know everything about self and other person or how to help in a situation; recognizing limitations and our need to be open/alert to learning more about self and the other person
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Honesty in 8 ingredients of caring
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seeing our self and the other person as we actually are and not as we would like to present ourselves
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Trust in 8 ingredients of caring
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trust in the process, the relationship, the others responsibilities and the Holy Spirit; also involves not under or over functioning
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Patience in 8 ingredients of caring
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staying with person as they grow at their own pace - refers to both time and space
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Self-evaluation in 8 ingredients of caring
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ability to look critically at our behavior in relationship with other person - have we helped or not? Necessary to maintain/modify behavior in order to be the greatest help
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Knowing in 8 ingredients of caring
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understanding of the other's needs and competence to respond to those needs constructively
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8 ingredients of caring
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knowledge, self-evaluation, patience, trust, honesty, humility, hope and courage
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Mayeroff's discussion on caring
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to help a person grow/actualize themselves - a process of relating to someone that involves development;
consistent attitude towards a person and concrete acts; in caring we experience the other as an extension of self but separate as one we respect - feel other's growth bound up in our sense of well-being; fundamental principal of caring - don't impose direction but allow their growth to guide direction, appreciating the other as independent |
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Switzer on discussion of caring
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we care b/c God cares - sent prophets and Jesus who ministered to people's needs;
b/c of the Holy Spirit - we are the body of Christ and should care about people too; should have concern for all persons - their wholeness, alleviation, health; its part of sharing in an open and honest way with client; imposing our own beliefs is a failure to trust in the process of development and in the power of the Holy Spirit in human life; allow freedom in decision making |
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Pastoral emergency
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Either the minister or client will decide if its a pastoral emergency - one party may not agree it is;
Def. - something arises unexpectedly and needs immediate attention - added intensity comes from feelings experienced by those involved; ex. - death, marriage and family, church division, occupational; counselors should be aware of their own limitations |
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Reflective listening
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reflects back on person's emotions - being aware of reality of our own problems; empathy - we are on target if we have "accurate empathy;" assume the other person is an expert on how they feel; helping people see what is going on in their lives
3 ways to reflect feelings: Don't name emotion, allow the person too; say "you seem to be feeling..." - do with humility and as a question; say "how are you feeling right now?" - maybe ask to look at the pros and cons of it |
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Active listening
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Intense concentration on words used, their connections, meaning, how they are spoken;
Observation of the non verbal and if its consistent with the verbal; aware of our feelings triggered from what person is talking about and if they will help or hinder the situation; conscious accumulation of past experiences to assist our interpretation of situation meaning; alert to what is not being said when it is expected; imaginative participation in what person is describing; using all tools to ID core of what is being expressed; connecting feeling with behavior- 2 questions: you feel ___ when ___ or when ____ you feel ___; goal is to help person see who they are |
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CARING process of pastoral conversations
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C - connect
A - attend/assess R - realistic focus I - invite search for person N - negotiate action G - get commitment |
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Caregiver's 3 families
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family of origin, creation and church
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Compare the transformation of the wounded healer and the walking wounded
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Wounded healer in response to perfectionist myth - need to embrace one's woundedness and tend to it by seeking spiritual direction and therapy
Theological base for wounded healer: God's call not rooted in perfection, God calls ordinary people, God saves people - not us, God equips those called, God is a companion to the called Walking wounded response to perfectionist myth: used to characterize those who deny vulnerability/woundedness, they constantly walking around wounded trying to help others, have trouble providing "good enough empathy," use a caring relationship to get care themselves by revering the roles, sometimes lack care/nurture In either case we need to realize the importance of times of retreat |
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Explain the idea of a wounded healer
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We all have own personal myths stemming from different circumstances; thus all are in need of re-authoring our myths, which can be a tumultuous time...therefore making us wounded
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List 4 ministry myths
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self-sufficiency, under-functioner, sacrificing joy, pleasing at all costs
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List 8 marital and family myths
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Marital: jubilation, settling, parental substitute, repudiating family of origin pitfalls, knight in shining armor, unlimited affection, ideal marriage of positive communication, limited possibilities in midlife
Family: premature adult responsibility, fulfilling family legacy, dire consequences, family mediator, family scapegoat |
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Define mythology
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Beliefs and convictions that people have about themselves, their relationships with others and their roles in life and ministry
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Why is group discussion important in re-authoring process?
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Helps us see beyond what we can on our own and brings us a new perspective for understanding/growth
Can learn from others how to begin engaging in the process and it reduces our anxiety of thinking we are isolated and don't know what to expect |
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List assumptions about re-authoring
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reality is socially constructed
Transformation is possible, not easy Change occurs normally in life cycle transitions as well as sudden trauma innovation is facilitated when we envision our own role in creating our own myths re-storying facilitates transformation brings new perspectives to past experiences to help create new possibilities |
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What does it mean to re-author mythology
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Assume the call from God is ongoing/unfolding in which new meaning is disclosed daily in which we are to participate. Re-authoring recognizes change in convictions and beliefs are possible - involves the 4 phases of re-authoring
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Goal of re-authoring personal myths
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To revise the story that runs through our personal behavior, to heal wounds and transform them into sources of strength in service to others
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5 steps of re-authoring stories
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identify themes
mapping assessment discernment making plans returning home |
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How to conduct a visit for a hospital emergency
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prepare for visit with prayer
be sensitive to pressure medical team is working and the intense feelings involved In the ER, introduce your self to the patient, express concern and pray if there is time focus will be mostly on family - express authentic concrete words to them on arrival Ask them how they are doing and respond with tell me what happened Pray with family Can try and get info for family since you have access to trauma room - ask head nurse for update if doctor isn't available Ask and make sure family understands doctor's explanation |
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List of don'ts for a hospital visit
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perfume, scents
smoke stand b/w person and a strong light speak too soft/loud sit/hit against the bed sit where person has to strain to see you talk about your or other's problems insensitive joking, over jovial appear hurried stay too long and tire them disagree with doctor take personally anger, irritation, etc. that the person has toward you or that they don't want your visit stand outside door and speak in low voice |
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How to conduct a hospital visit
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Introduce self at nurses station at least on 1st visit
Simple greeting to patient as ask how they feel - focus on feelings, find their main concerns 5-10 min convo, be attentive, involved, responsive and empathetic and determine when you will need to leave 2-3 min before leaving ask if patient has anything else they wanted to talk about Ask patient to pray with you before you leave |
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What we need for a meaningful hospital visitation
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7 facilitative conditions of the helping relationship; a theology of suffering - how do we respond to the questions of why?; knowledge of the bible - good to have small book of edited passages usually requested
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Church's mission in visiting sick
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Built into structure of fellowship of faith - participating in significant events in lives of others; a way of participating in life of Christ - form or servanthood; can find Christ in our relationship with the sick; in doing so we reveal something about the Creator who agonizes with creation; we communicate how God cares/supports is in times of extremity - God participates with us in suffering; effect form of evangelism if don unconsciously; makes a contribution to the healing process; a contribution to the edification of the church, building the body of Christ, equipping saints for the carrying out of its mission
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