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71 Cards in this Set

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Contact stage
you make perceptual contact and later interact with the person
Involvement stage
you test potential partner, if satisfactory, move on to intensifying the relationship
Intimacy stage
make an interpersonal commitment and later enter stage of social bonding, where you publicly reveal your relationship status
Deterioration stage
bonds holding you together begin to weaken. intrapersonal dissatisfaction is experienced and later becomes interpersonal when you discuss it with partner
Repair stage
you first engage in intrapersonal repair, analyzing what went wrong and perhaps what you can do to set things right
uncertainty reduction theory
describes relationship developmetn as a process of reducing uncertainty about one another
social penetration theory
progression of relationship along communication dimensions of breadth and depth. as it moves towards intimacy breadth and depth greaten and vise versa
relationship dialects theory
relationships described as a series of opposites representing competing desires or motivations (the desire for autonomy and the desire to belong to someone)
rules theory
describes relationships as interactions governed by series of rules that couple agrees to follow
attraction theory
you develop relationships w/others based on: physical appearance/personality, proximity, similarity
complementarity
people are attracted to dissimilar others
affinity-seeking strategies
you can increase your attractiveness (with the things like physical appearance and proximity aside) by doing things like: listen attentively, present yourself as socially equal, appear "in control", be of help to other, show respect, etc
social exchange theory
based on economic model of profits and losses. you develop relationships that will enable you to maximize your profits
(profits, rewards, costs)
equity theory
uses concepts of social exchange (profits, rewards, costs) but goes a step further. claims you develop relationships in which your ratio of rewards to costs is about equal
how do you repair a relationship?
recognize the problem. engage in communication. conflict resolution, pose possible solutions, affirm each other
relationship between two persons that is mutually productive and characterized by mutual positive regard
friendship
friendship of reciprocity
most ideal type. loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection characteristics
friendship of association
transitory one. friendly relationship rather than true friendship
Value of friendship: utility
someone you become friends with because they have special talents, skills , etc.
Value of friendship: affirmation
someone who would affirm your personal value and helpyou to recognize your attributes
Value of friendship: ego support
someone who believes in a supportive,encouraging, and helpful manner. "find someone who helps you view yourself as worthy
Value of Friendship: Stimulation
someone who introduces you to new ideas and new ways of seeing the world and helps you to expand your worldview "being friends w/someone who would bring you in contact w/new people, issues, religions, etc."
Value of Friendship: Security
someone who does nothing to hurt you,etc. "friends because you'd not have to worry about them betraying you,etc"
Stages Friendships go thru:
Initial Contact & Acquaintance
Casual Friendship
Close & Intimate Friendship
6 Types of love:
eros, ludus, storge, pragma, mania, apage
Eros love
beauty and sexuality. attractiveness
Ludus love
entertainment and excitement
Storge love
peaceful and slow
Pragma love
practical and traditional
mania love
elation and depression
Apage love
compassionate and selfless (Jesus, Buddah)
Reasons why love in work places is bad....
relocation, gossip between other coworkers, different promotions
Defined roles in families
each knows what their obligations, priveleges, and responsibilities are
Share history and future in families
this allows families to get to know each other better: must be some history, some significant past interaction.
Recognition of Responsibilities in families:
members see themselves as having certain obligations and responsiblities to each other. everyones obligations vary
shared living space in families:
usually share same primary living space
Established rules in families:
all teach rules for communication
positive effects of conflict:
forces you to examine a problem and work toward a potential solution
negative effects of conflict:
often leads to increased negative feelings, unfair fighting methods
Difference between content and relationship conflicts
content: centers on objects, events, and persons
relationships: equally numerous and include conflicts concerned with the relationships between individuals
How culture influences conflict?
influences topics people fight about, what is considered appropriate ways of dealing with conflict
how gender influences conflict?
men are more apt to withdraw from a conflict
women want to get closer to the conflict
boys are more aggressive., etc
Conflict Resolution stages:
Define the Conflict
Examine Possible Solutions
Test the Solution
Evaluate the Solution
Accept/Reject the Solution
Avoidance
may actually involve physical flight
Nonnegotiation
special type of avoidance, you refuse to discuss conflict or to listen to other persons argument
Silencers
conflict techniques that literally silence other individual (ex. crying)
Force & Talk
force may be emotional or physical, the only real alternative to force- is talk
Face-detracting
degrading someone else by using choice words
Face-enhancing strategies
involves helping other person to maintain positive image
Beltlining
an unproductive interpersonal conflict strategy "hitting below the belt"
verbal aggressiveness
method of winning an argument by attacking persons' self-concept (inflicting psychological pain)
argumentativeness
quality to be cultivated rather than avoided. ability to speak ones mind
Low Machs
more easily persuaded, more empathic, more interpersonally oriented and involved w/other people
High Machs
more resistant to persuasion, more logical, more assertive and more controlling
Principle of Less interest
the more a person needs a relationship, the less power that person has in it
"yougottobekidding"
when one person attacks the other by saying "youve got to be kidding" or some similar phrase
"nobody upstairs"
when someone refuses to acknowledge your request, regardless of how many times you make it
"you owe me"
when someone does something for someone and then demands something in return
Power play
pattern of behavior that takes unfair advantage of another person. Power plays aim to rob you of your right to make your own choices. free of harrassment
Referent power
when you have power because others wish to be like you or be identified with you
Legitimate power
when you have legitimate power over others when they believe you have the right-by virtue or your position- to influence or control their behavior
Expert power
you have expert power over others when they see you as having expertise or knowledge
Information and Persuasion power
when information and persuasion power over others when they see you as having the ability to communicate logically and persuasively
Reward and Coercive power
when you have reward power over other if you have the ability to reward them. you have coercive power over others when you have the ability to administer punishments or remove rewards should they not yeild to your influence
Compliance-gaining strategies
tactics that influence others to do what you want them to do
Compliance-resisting strategies
tactics that enable you to say no and to resist another persons attempt to influence you
pregiving
hey since i helped you with english will you help me with biology
promise
if you clean your room i promise ill take you to the movie
positive expertise
i promise you that if you will read 15 minutes from the book you'll do better on the test!
debt
i have done so much for you this is the least you can do for me
aversive stimulation
kids cry until they get what they want