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33 Cards in this Set

  • Front
  • Back
What are the 4 horsemen?
1.contempt
2.criticism
3.defensiveness
4.stonewalling
Define contempt
partner feels that his or her spouse is inferior or undesireable.
Define criticism
making disapproving judgements or evaluations of one's partner.
defensiveness
preparing to defend oneself against what one presumes is an upcoming attack
stonewalling
refusing to listen to a partner's complaints
belligerence
negative communication/relationship behavior that challenges the partner's power and authority
What are the 2 scales associated with the circumplex model?
flexibility and cohesion
Bonding fight guidelines
A_LISCW_ACE

Avoid mix message
Level w/ each other
I statements
Specific issues
Change yourself-be willing
Win - don't try to

Ask for specific change
carefully chose time and place
end fight
Categories of elderly individuals (including ages).
1. young old (65-74)
2. older old (75-84)
3. Old-Old (85 and older)
Classifications of adult relationships with older parents
DOS IT

detached
obligatory
sociable

intimate but distant
tight knit
Three general styles of grandparenting
RIC

Remote
Involved
Companionate
Creating a stepfamily takes how much time?
4-7 yrs
7 stages of stepfamily development
FIA MAC R

fantasy
immersion
awareness
moblilization
action
contact
resolution
Most significant factor in comparative instability of remarriage is.....
BUT
marital ____ in remarriage is NOT influenced by..
1.presence of stepchildren

2. quality, presence of kids
____ percent of women remarry in ___ yrs.

____ after ___ yrs.
75% of women remarry in 10 yrs.
83% after 15 yrs.
What are the five theoretical perspectives adressing the negative effects of divorce on kids?
PP LEI

Parental Adjustment
Parental Loss

Life Stress
economic hardship
interparental conflict
Meeting Crisis Creatively
ICE SOAP

Informal social support
Community resources
Extended Family

Spiritual values
Open communication
Adaptibility
Positive Outlook
Types of stressors (which can preceipitate a family crisis)
SO, A CAD

*Sudden Change
*Ongoing family coflict or hassle

*Ambiguous Loss (physically absent but still a part of the family, as in divorce or MIA)

*Caring for a dependent, ill, or disabled family member
*Addition/Loss of family member
*demoralizing events
ABC-X model of family crisis
A = the stressor event
B = family's ability to cope with a crisis ( ie, resources, coping skills, knowledge)
C= family's appraisal of the stressor event
X = the crisis
Three perspectives on marital power
L RR

Least Interest theory = the partner with less of a commitment to the relationship is the one who is more apt to exploit the other.

Resource theory = spouse with more resources has the more power in the marriage. This focuses on bacground characteristics and not how they interact.
Relative love and need theory = the person most emotionally dependent on the relationship is more likely to comply with the other.
What are the six sources of power?
CELI RR

*Coercive power = threats
*Expert power = I know what I am talking about
*legitimate power = This power stems from the more dominant individual’s ability to claim authority, or the right to request compliance.
*informational power = letting someone know something (i.e, woman convincing husband not to smoke by providing him with info)

*Reward power = I'll give you something if you do what I want
*Referent power = doing things that we don't nec want to do be/c we care
coercive power
One of the six power bases, or sources of power. This power is based on the dominant person’s ability and willingness to punish the partner either with psychological–emotional or physical abuse, or with more subtle methods of withholding affection.
expert power
One of the six power bases, or sources of power. This power stems from the dominant person’s superior judgment, knowledge, or ability.
informational power
One of the six power bases, or sources of power. This power is based on the persuasive content of what the dominant person tells another individual.
legitamite power
One of the six power bases, or sources of power. This power stems from the more dominant individual’s ability to claim authority, or the right to request compliance.
referent power
One of the six power bases, or sources of power. This power is based on the less dominant person’s emotional identification with the more dominant individual
reward power
One of the six power bases, or sources of power. This power is based on an individual’s ability to give material or nonmaterial gifts and favors.
typical tactics used in stonewalling
LID GRH

*Leaving house to avoid fight
*I can't take it when you act this way
*Derailing arguments - "I can't take it when you yell at me."
*Giving up, refusing to argue but not discussing the problem
*Refusing to talk
*Hit and run - file complaint, but then leave and refuse to discuss them
six qualities of family cohesion
PAS CC
Positive communication
Appreciation
Scheduling
Spiritual

Comitment to promoting happy
Crisis Management
resource theory
person with more resources has more power
theory of least interest
person with less interest/commitment to the relationship will be more apt to exploit the other person
relative love and need theory
person most emotionally invested is most likely to comply
Ten rules for nourishing a relationship
*Granted - don't take this way
*Appreciation & Admiration expressed
*Verbally express love
*Accept partners demands and shortcomings
*Share more w/ partner
*Alone time
*Do unto, etc.
*Material expressions of love
*offer emotional support
*Physical affection