Hamlet Act Ii Scene Ii

Front 1

ROSENCRANTZ My most dear lord!

Back 1

HAMLET My excellent good friends! How dost thou,
Guildenstern? Ah, Rosencrantz! Good lads, how do ye both?

Front 2

GUILDENSTERN Happy, in that we are not over-happy;
On fortune's cap we are not the very button.

Back 2

HAMLET Nor the soles of her shoe?

Front 3

ROSENCRANTZ Neither, my lord.

Back 3

HAMLET Then you live about her waist, or in the middle of
her favours?

Front 4

GUILDENSTERN 'Faith, her privates we.

Back 4

HAMLET In the secret parts of fortune? O, most true; she
is a strumpet. What's the news?

Front 5

ROSENCRANTZ None, my lord, but that the world's grown honest.

Back 5

HAMLET Then is doomsday near: but your news is not true.
Let me question more in particular: what have you,
my good friends, deserved at the hands of fortune,
that she sends you to prison hither?

Front 6

ROSENCRANTZ

Why then, your ambition makes it one; 'tis too
narrow for your mind.

Back 6

HAMLET O God, I could be bounded in a nut shell and count
myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I
have bad dreams.

Front 7

GUILDENSTERN

Which dreams indeed are ambition, for the very
substance of the ambitious is merely the shadow of a dream.

Back 7

HAMLET A dream itself is but a shadow.

Front 8

ROSENCRANTZ GUILDENSTERN

We'll wait upon you.

Back 8

HAMLET No such matter: I will not sort you with the rest of my servants, for, to speak to you like an honest
man, I am most dreadfully attended. But, in the
beaten way of friendship, what make you at Elsinore?

Front 9

ROSENCRANTZ

To visit you, my lord; no other occasion.

Back 9

HAMLET Beggar that I am, I am even poor in thanks; but I
thank you: and sure, dear friends, my thanks are
too dear a halfpenny. Were you not sent for? Is it
your own inclining? Is it a free visitation? Come,
deal justly with me: come, come; nay, speak.

Front 10

GUILDENSTERN

What should we say, my lord?

Back 10

HAMLET

Why, any thing, but to the purpose. You were sent for; and there is a kind of confession in your looks
which your modesties have not craft enough to colour:
I know the good king and queen have sent for you.

Front 11

ROSENCRANTZ To what end, my lord?

Back 11

HAMLET That you must teach me. But let me conjure you, by
the rights of our fellowship, by the consonancy of
our youth, by the obligation of our ever-preserved
love, and by what more dear a better proposer could
charge you withal, be even and direct with me,
whether you were sent for, or no?

Front 12

ROSENCRANTZ [Aside to GUILDENSTERN] What say you?

Back 12

HAMLET [Aside] Nay, then, I have an eye of you.--If you
love me, hold not off.

Front 13

ROSENCRANTZ

My lord, there was no such stuff in my thoughts.

Back 13

HAMLET Why did you laugh then, when I said 'man delights not me'?

Front 14

ROSENCRANTZ

To think, my lord, if you delight not in man, what
lenten entertainment the players shall receive from
you: we coted them on the way; and hither are they
coming, to offer you service.

Back 14

HAMLET What players are they?

Front 15

ROSENCRANTZ

Even those you were wont to take delight in, the
tragedians of the city.

Back 15

HAMLET Do they hold the same estimation they did when I was
in the city? are they so followed?

Front 16

GUILDENSTERN

There are the players.

Back 16

HAMLET Gentlemen, you are welcome to Elsinore. Your hands,
come then: the appurtenance of welcome is fashion
and ceremony: let me comply with you in this garb,
lest my extent to the players, which, I tell you,
must show fairly outward, should more appear like
entertainment than yours. You are welcome: but my
uncle-father and aunt-mother are deceived.

Front 17

GUILDENSTERN

In what, my dear lord?

Back 17

HAMLET I am but mad north-north-west: when the wind is
southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.

Front 18

LORD POLONIUS

Well be with you, gentlemen!

Back 18

HAMLET I will prophesy he comes to tell me of the players;
mark it.

Front 19

LORD POLONIUS

My lord, I have news to tell you.

Back 19

HAMLET My lord, I have news to tell you.
When Roscius was an actor in Rome,--

Front 20

LORD POLONIUS

The actors are come hither, my lord.

Back 20

HAMLET Buz, buz!

Front 21

LORD POLONIUS

Upon mine honour,--

Back 21

HAMLET Then came each actor on his ass,--

Front 22

Lord Polonius

These are the only Men

Back 22

HAMLET

You are welcome, masters; welcome, all. I am glad to see thee well. Welcome, good friends. O, my old friend! thy face is valenced since I saw thee last: comest thou to beard me in Denmark? Good my lord, will you see the players well bestowed? Do you hear, let them be well used; for they are the abstract and brief chronicles of the time: after your death you were better have a bad epitaph than their ill report while you live.

Front 23

LORD POLONIUS My lord, I will use them according to their desert.

Back 23

HAMLET God's bodykins, man, much better: use every man after his desert, and who should 'scape whipping? Use them after your own honour and dignity: the less they deserve, the more merit is in your bounty. Take them in.

Front 24

LORD POLONIUS Come, sirs.

Back 24

HAMLET Follow him, friends: we'll hear a play to-morrow.

Dost thou hear me, old friend; can you play the
Murder of Gonzago?

Front 25

First Player

Ay, my lord.

Back 25

HAMLET We'll ha't to-morrow night. You could, for a need,
study a speech of some dozen or sixteen lines, which
I would set down and insert in't, could you not?

Front 26

First Player

Ay, my lord.

Back 26

HAMLET Very well. Follow that lord; and look you mock him
not.

Exit First Player

My good friends, I'll leave you till night: you are
welcome to Elsinore.

Front 27

ROSENCRANTZ

Good my lord!

Back 27

HAMLET Ay, so, God be wi' ye;