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63 Cards in this Set

  • Front
  • Back
presentation the way you make me feel....
love types:
and ____
mania, fatuous
exchange theory
-_____ is a relationship that is defined in terms of relationship
-the key to a sexually based primary relationship is that it is an ongoing process and so it gives the individual ___
-sexually based primary relationship
-definitional control
-gay couples video is based off of research by ___ and ___
-courtship patterns for lesbians include __, while males include ___
-Blumstein and Schwartz
-friendships, sexual contact
-similarities between gay and heterosexual couples:
-love and liking, used similar relationship maintainance strategies, relationship satisfaction, conflict topics, jealousy, violence
-conflict topics that are similar in gay and hetero relationships:
-1. intimacy
2. power
-differences between gay and hetero relationship
-break up, recognition of loss of spouse, lack of disclosure, decreased availability of support
-3 by-products of not being legally bound in gay relationships:
1. increased autonomy
2. increased occurance of dissolution
3. decreased barriers to leaving
-7 states allow gay adoption:
-washington DC, California, NY, CT, MA, NT, PA, VT
-Group 10: Nickleback:
-relational sexuality, fatal attraction
-2 types of kids of gay parents:
1. type I: born and adopted into heterosexual and then one comes out as gay
2. type II: born and adopted into same sex fam
-___ found that children in same-sex fams are similar to other children
-Demo and Allen found that children of gay parents:
-Patterson
-learn to tolerate and value diversity, develop considerable empathy for others, and follow their own feelings about sexuality and intimacy
-in 1997, __ couples cohabitating
-in 2000, __ couples. In 1970, it was illegal
-4.1 mill
-5.5 mill
-20 year olds with stable home cohabitate ___%, unstable home ___%
-26 years old from stable home ___% cohabitate, unstable ___%
-13%, 30%
-30%, 48%
-cohabitation by religion:
1. mormon (8.2%)
2. protestants (20-24%)
3. catholics (23%)
4. jews (32.5%)
5. non-religious (44.8%)
-more than __% of couples cohabitate before marriage
-more than __% of individuals who cohabitate have never been married
-50%
-50%
-cohabitators are more oriented toward ____ and are more willing to terminate relationship
-personal autonomy
Since you've been gone demonstrated:
love triangle, social exchange theory (unattractive instability)
-____ can apply to different types of loss
-____ is a process of dealing with loss due to death
-grief
-bereavement
-____ continues for a long period of time, there isn't a set time limit
-_______ (or ______) is when one mourns longer than what is considered normal
-chronic grief
-complicated mourning (pathological grief)
-about ___ of people who experience a death of a loved one experience depression
1/5
-____ occurs before the impending death of a loved one. key is to be _____ with feelings
-anticipatory grief, honest
-___ is public manifestation of individual grief
-____ occurs when someone doesn't have a socially acceptable outlet for mourning a loss
-mourning
-disenfranchised grief
-____ is more likely if the death is your child or a murder
-___complicated grief/mourning
-5 stages of grief
1. denial (feel numb, feel shocked, often causes left brain impairment)
2. anger (want to hold someone accountable, key is to let self feel)
3. bargaining (try to negotiate, but no way things will go back)
4. depression (hopelessness..loss...loneliness, low energy levels)
5. acceptance (when people find peace and move on)
phyisical reactions to grief
general sense of fatigue or weakness, shortness of breath, tightness in chest, dry mouth
behavior reactions to grief:
loss of appetite, insomnia, retreat socially, dreams or nightmares, crying, call out deceased name, treasure or avoid momentos, hallucinations
group 12 I wanna dance with somebody
loneliness, eros and agape
4 patterns of abuse
1. common couple violence (both couples participate and typically does not escalate)
2. intimate terrorism (involves heavy element of control)
3. violent resistance (one partner, typically woman, resists the domination of the other partner)
4. mutual violent control (relatively rare pattern in which both partners are controlling and violent)
-____ is abuse that is almost always male/female nad involves extremely high amounts of control
-intimate terrorism
Study by Gottman on abuse....each couple had to either _1_ or _2_
1. had to have at least 2 episodesof kicking or hitting with fist
2. at least one incident of potentially lethal violence
-non-batterers in Gottman's study had a ____, where at some point of conflict escalation, it stops or is reversed
-the most startling finding with the batterers was ____
-withdrawal ritual
-unable to predict when batterers would cross over into violence
2 warning signs of battering:
1. belligerence (challenge someone's authority..."what are you going to do about it?) contempt (are you really that stupid?)
2. attempts to control, dominate, or stiffle wife's behavior
-battered women weren't ___ or ___. They were often __ and __
-____ abuse plays a huge role
-passive or submissive, calm and assertive
-emotional
-domestic violence can decrease on it's own, but it almost never stops. ___% of batterers had stopped violence for over 2 years
-7%
-____ is physical agression with a purpose
-the most likely place someone is to be killed from battering is ____
-___% of children grow up in violent homes
-most common place for abuse is ___
-battering is most likely on ___ and ___
-battering
-bedroom
-20-25%
-kitchen
-weekends and holidays
Pitbull:
-___%
-__% have history of extramarital violence
-___% Antisocial PD
-__% grow up in violent homes
-when they verbally attack, heart rate ____
-___ emotionally attached to wife
-attack _____
-extremely ___ and ___
-harder to leave in ___
-80%
-3%
-33%
-51%
-goes up
-more
-builds over time
-dependent and jealous
-long run
Cobra:
-___%
-___% have history of extramarital violence
-___% have Antisocial PD
-___% grow up in violent homes
-when they attack, heart rate ____
-not ____ attached
-harder to leave in ___
-sudden ____
-20%
-44%
-90%
-78%
-goes down, calm and focused
-emotionally
-short term
-attacks
more likely to be abused:
-20 to 34
-low education
3 phase cycle of abuse
1. tention that results from minor altercation
2. situation escalates (explode into violent episode)
3. becomes "genuinely" apologetic
group 13 How can I help you say goodbye
grief vs. bereavement
why do husbands abuse?
-patriarchal terrorism.....ment that do it are compensating for general feelings of powerlessness or inadequacy (jobs, social settings, marriage)
why do women live with violence?
1. lack of personal resources
2. fear
3. cultural norms
4. economic dependence
5. hope husband will reform
6. love
7. gendered socialization
8. childhood experience
9. low self-esteem
in order for a woman to leave an abusive relationship, she has to ___ the situation so she can see a way out, needs to make ____ to the outside world, and ____
redefine/reframe, connections, shelter
-Gottman defined 5 types of relationship conflict styles, 3 stable, 2 unstable. Things get complicated if both partners have _____ styles. You can change styles, but the key is have to keep _____
-_____ of ____ means there has to be positive and negative feedback
different, fighting
-ecosystem of marriage
-____ are supportive, use problem solving, when don't agree, still let partners know they think their opinions and thoughts are valid, they compromise and work together calmly, they listen
-validators
-_____ couples have lots of positive and negative, thrive on unfiltered emotion, extremely intense, fight dramatically, to anyone watching they seem doomed to divorce, with they can stay together if they keep 5 to 1. They are the most vulnerable to not maintaining ____ and to ___
-Volatile, 5 to 1, violence
-____ couples are patient, neither partner likes to make waves, couples don't necessarily benefit from increase in emotional expression, they keep the peace and arguments to a minimum by agreeing to disagree, they ignore differences and one may begin to act like the other, still have to have 5 to 1
-avoiders
___ couples have a lot of negative conflict
hostile
-____ couples have very negative conflict and are emotionally distant
-the ___ fit here
-hostile/detached
-four horsemen
4 strategies for conflict by Gottman
1. calm down
2. be non-defensive
3. validate partner
4. practice positive conflict management
types of power:
-___ power is associated with attractiveness and liking
-____ power is ability to reward
-____ power is ability to punish
-____ power is power based on authority
-____ power is power based on knowledge
-___ have more of the last 4
-referent
-reward
-coercive
-legitimate
-expert
-men
-4 different approaches to relational conflict by Rosebolt
1. exit (leaving conflict and partner, active destructive)
2. voice (engaging the partner in problem solving, active and contructive)
3. loyalty (avoiding conflict but remaining committed, passive constructive)
4. neglect (avoiding both conflict and partner, passive destructive)
____ is an inference or judgment about why particular events occur
-there are two types:
-____ couples make more negative attributions and usually dispositional
-attribution
-situational (linked to situation), dispositional (liked to quality of person)
-distressed
group 14: how do I get there from here
-storge, agape, mania, frequency of exposure, need to belong
group 15: whiskey lulliby
mania, loneliness, sad passivity, depression, stages of grief
group 16: you've lost that loving feeling
BIDS, mania, loneliness
group 17: don't speak
proximity, storge, stages of grief, denial depression
group 18: earl
abuse, battering, pitbull, intimate terrorism, violent resistance, hostile, exit approach
group 19: girl
agape, social support, 5 stages of relationship dissolution (intrapsychic phase), sudden death
group 21: I don't really want to fight
unattractive instability, Sternberg's trianle theory of love, abuse
group 22: come home soon
agape, loneliness, social support, proximity
group 23: she will be loved
avoidant attachment, fearful avoidant, agape, romantic love
group 24: nothing compares
break up, loneliness, sad passivity, active solitude, depressive loneliness, mania