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8 Cards in this Set

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LEONATO: Neighbours you are tedious.

DOGBERRY: It pleases your worship to say so, but we are the poor duke’s officers. But truly, for my own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find it in my heart to bestow it all of
your worship.

LEONATO: All of thy tediousness on me, ah? (3.5.16-21)

Constable Dogberry is a man of many words, several of which he uses in the wrong sense in his quest to seem smarter than he is. In this quotation, for example, he uses the word "tedious" to mean "rich." He also gets word order wrong to hilarious effect: instead of saying he and his compartner Verges are poor (“the duke’s poor officers") he says the duke is poor ("the poor duke’s officers").

So, for your pleasure, here is a selection of Dogberry's malapropisms (look the word up!) and their correct meaning.

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[To neighbor George Seacoal:]

You are thought here to be the most senseless and fit man for the constable of the watch; therefore bear you the lantern. This is your charge: you shall comprehend all vagrom men. (3.3.19-21)
[To neighbor George Seacoal:]

You are thought here to be the most
sensible and fit man for the constable of the watch;
therefore bear you the lantern. This is your charge:
you shall apprehend all vagrant men
You shall also make no noise in the streets; for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most tolerable and not to be endured. (3.3.30-31)
You shall also make no noise in the streets; for, for the watch to babble and to talk is most intolerable and not to be endured.
I pray you watch about Signior Leonato’s door, for the
wedding being there tomorrow, there is a great coil
tonight. Adieu, be vigitant, I beseech you. (3.3. 75-77)
I pray you watch about Signior Leonato’s door, for the
wedding being there tomorrow, there is a great coil
tonight. Adieu, be vigilant, I beseech you.
DOGBERRY Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter. An old man, sir, and his wits are not so blunt as, God help, I would desire they were, but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.

VERGES Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man
living that is an old man and no honester than I.

DOGBERRY Comparisons are odorous. Palabras, neighbor Verges. (3.5.8-13)
DOGBERRY Goodman Verges, sir, speaks a little off the matter. An old man, sir, and his wits are not so sharp as, God help, I would desire they were, but, in faith, honest as the skin between his brows.

VERGES Yes, I thank God I am as honest as any man
living that is an old man and no honester than I.

DOGBERRY Comparisons are odious. Palabras, neighbor Verges.
SEACOAL This man said, sir, that Don John, the Prince’s brother, was a villain.

DOGBERRY Write down Prince John a villain. Why,
this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother villain!

SEXTON What heard you him say else?

SEACOAL Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.

DOGBERRY Flat burglary as ever was committed.

SEACOAL And that Count Claudio did mean,
upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole
assembly, and not marry her.

DOGBERRY O, villain! Thou wilt be condemned
into everlasting redemption for this! (4.2. 32-48)
SEACOAL This man said, sir, that Don John, the Prince’s brother, was a villain.

DOGBERRY Write down Prince John a villain. Why,
this is flat libel, to call a prince’s brother villain!

SEXTON What heard you him say else?

SEACOAL Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John for accusing the Lady Hero wrongfully.

DOGBERRY Flat libel as ever was committed.

SEACOAL And that Count Claudio did mean,
upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole
assembly, and not marry her.

DOGBERRY O, villain! Thou wilt be condemned
into everlasting damnation for this!
Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? O, that [the Sexton] were here to
write me down an ass! But masters, remember that
I am an ass, though it be not written down, yet
forget not that I am an ass.—No, thou villain, thou
art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by
good witness. (4.2.61-65)
Dost thou not respect my place? Dost thou not respect my years? O, that [the Sexton] were here to
write me down an ass! But masters, remember that
I am an ass, though it be not written down, yet
forget not that I am an ass.—No, thou villain, thou
art full of impiety, as shall be proved upon thee by
good witness.
LEONATO I thank thee for thy care and honest pains.

DOGBERRY Your Worship speaks like a most thankful and reverent youth, and I praise God for you.

LEONATO Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I
thank thee.

DOGBERRY I leave an arrant knave with your Worship, which I beseech your Worship to correct
yourself, for the example of others. God keep your
Worship! I wish your Worship well. God restore you
to health. I humbly give you leave to depart, and if a
merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it. (5.1.279-289)
DOGBERRY Your Worship speaks like a most thankful and revered elder, and I praise God for you.

LEONATO Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and I
thank thee.

DOGBERRY I leave an arrant knave with your Worship, which I beseech your Worship to correct for the example of others. God keep your Worship! I wish your Worship well. God keep you in health. I humbly ask you leave to depart, and if a merry meeting may be wished, God permit it.