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88 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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Resource exchange in relationship: love/affection
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feel positively toward another person, care for them, help them, feel secure
least tangible perhaps the most powerful |
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Resource exchange in relationship: goods
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clothes, jewelry
direct, observable resources |
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Resource exchange in relationship: services
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doing something for someone else
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Resource exchange in relationship: information
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help someone by giving others information
test |
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Resource exchange in relationship: status
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less tangible because it is perceived
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Resource exchange in relationship: money
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relational resources to purchase resources
parents will say "i won't pay for college if you get a tattoo" |
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Social Exchange Model
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a model for making decisions to stay in or leave a relationship
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Social Exchange Model: costs
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anything negative, effortful, or that you do not want repeated
ex: you are the partner that does everyone's laundry |
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Social Exchange Model: rewards
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anything in a relationship that makes it positive or that you want repeated
ex: feeling cared for |
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Social Exchange Model: outcomes
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accounts for costs and rewards
if rewards outweigh costs, the outcome is profitable if costs outweigh rewards, the outcome is a loss |
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Social Exchange Model: comparison of alternatives
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the estimation of weather or not to continue a relationship is based on alternatives
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Social Exchange Model: comparison of alternatives
comparisons with all previous experiences |
ex: all relationships have been violent, currently in a violent relationship ma not seem so negative
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Social Exchange Model: comparison of alternatives
comparisons with current alternatives |
what else is out there
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Exchange oriented: exchange
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expect 50/50 give and take
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Exchange oriented: communal
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more family/community oriented
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Mate Value Discrepancy
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when one partner has more resources or "benefits" to offer than the other partner has
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Why IP relationships often develop in work settings
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close proximity
spend a lot of time together - all day business trips admire coworkers and will often ask for advice sense of homophilly - similar goals and interests stress tends to bring people together |
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Important differences between work communication and social communication: goal differences
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work - be stressful
social - have fun |
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Important differences between work communication and social communication: rules and laws
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work - explicit rules and social norms
social - make up own rules for relationship |
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Important differences between work communication and social communication: choice
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work - can't choose coworkers
social - can choose friends |
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Platonic and Romantic Relationships in the workplace
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definition - relationships with people we consider friends, just friends, without sexual and romantic potential
we develop platonic relationships at work for the same reasons we develop romantic relationships. primarily because of proximity these relationships can be beneficial too IP relationships tend to be more emotionally charged than simple coworker relationships |
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Flirting
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definition - communication to encourage another to acknowledge sexual interest in a non-forced, open-ended manner.
ex: indirect joking, casual touch,sly glances often occurs in the social setting since it is harder to deal with in the workplace flirting can be problematic since a person may perceive flirting as sexual harassment |
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Sexual Harassment
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unwanted sexual communication that interferes with work performance, is a condition or incentive for work performance, and/or creates a climate of work which is embarrassing, threatening, or intimidating
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Relational Influence or Dominance
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The perceived ability to shape another's feelings, thoughts, or behaviors
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Interactional Dominance
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we can use our communication to exert more power or dominance
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Strategies to be dominant in interactions
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increase volume
interruptions talk more talk fast with few pauses issue instructions contradictions or verbal disagreements |
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Assertive Communication
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Communicating your own rights, thoughts, opinions, desires, etc. directly; while at the same time respecting the rights, thoughts, opinions, desires, etc. of the other
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Aggressive
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communicate thoughts/feelings, but hurt others in the process
males are taught to be aggressive in US |
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Non-assertive
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too concerned with others' feelings so we don't consider our own feelings and become overly compliant
females are taught to be non-assertive in US |
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Assertive as a tool
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use as needed
do not need to be assertive all the time |
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What communicating assertively can help you to do
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assure fair treatment
in social interactions express feelings handle requests |
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Verbal Model of Assertive Communication: Empathy
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communication to others that you know how they feel
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Verbal Model of Assertive Communication: Rationale
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answers "why" you are bringing the issue to the person's attention
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Verbal Model of Assertive Communication: Action
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what you want to be done as a result of the rationale statement
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Nonverbal Components of Assertive Communication: eye contact
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look directly at the person
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Nonverbal Components of Assertive Communication: assertive facial expression
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don't look scared
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Nonverbal Components of Assertive Communication: posture and gesture
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stand up straight, use moderate gestures
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Nonverbal Components of Assertive Communication: tone of voice
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few pauses, clear, moderate volume
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reward power
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power to give rewards, benefits, to someone in a relationship or remove punishment
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coercive power
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power to punish or take away rewards
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legitimate power
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power granted to you because of your title or rank
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expert power
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power granted to you because of your experience or knowledge
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referent power
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given because of personality
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IP conflict
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when the attitudes and behaviors of one person interfere with or create (or are perceived to create) obstacles for another
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Sources of IP Conflict: differing goals
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people differ on which goals they see as important
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Sources of IP Conflict: differing ways of achieving goals
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people agree on the goal but see different ways to achieve the same goal
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Sources of IP Conflict: differing IP needs
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different inclusion, affection, and control needs
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Sources of IP Conflict: differing expectations of behavior
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we all have expectations and are often unaware of them until they are violated
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Attitudes about Conflict
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in order to communicate effectively during conflict, we first have to change our attitudes about conflicts
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Attitudes about Conflict: Management vs. Resolution
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manage - deal with it
resolution - get rid of it |
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Attitudes about Conflict: Win-Lose Orientation
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relationships are not meant to be competitive
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Attitudes about Conflict: Fear of Fighting
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"If we have conflict, it's terminal"
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Attitudes about Conflict: the work is worth it
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if you want to maintain the relationship, working through managing and resolving conflicts is worth it
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Ineffective Conflict Styles: Avoiders
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people who hate arguing and will avoid discussing conflict issues at all costs
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Ineffective Conflict Styles: Erupters
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people who lose their temper and become very emotional when angry
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Dysfunctional Cycles of Conflict: Demand-Withdraw Patterns
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one demands change and the other withdraws from interaction
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Dysfunctional Cycles of Conflict: Cross-Complaining
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repeated negative statements to each other
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General Categories of dissatisfaction leading to breakup: Dissatisfaction with partner
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you just don't care for the person like you used to
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General Categories of dissatisfaction leading to breakup: Dissatisfaction withe the relationship
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you want marriage and partner doesn't
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General Categories of dissatisfaction leading to breakup: Dissatisfaction with others who form relationship network
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you like your partner and the relationship, but not others (family, friends, co-workers, etc)
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General Categories of dissatisfaction leading to breakup: Inability to deal with strain imposed by circumstances
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some relationships are harder to maintain (long distance)
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Major reasons for all relational termination: skill level of partners
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people may not have the communication skills or realize the amount of work necessary to maintain a relationship
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Major reasons for all relational termination: boredom, disinterest
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the relationship wears out
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Major reasons for all relational termination: major expectation violated
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fidelity, lying, not who you thought they were
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Major reasons for all relational termination: difficulty of maintenance
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work schedules, long distance
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Major reasons for all relational termination: conflict gets out of control
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screaming and yelling
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Major reasons for all relational termination: better "alternatives" on the scene
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other people, other things to do
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relational imbalance
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one person wants to terminate and the other doesn't
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Communication during relational termination: direct vs indirect
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direct - tell it like it is
indirect - avoid person, beat around the bush, do something to make partner dump them |
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Strategies of Breaking Up: Positive Tone
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"i'm sorry... i didn't want to hurt you"
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Strategies of Breaking Up: Negatively Identity Management
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idea that staying together will cause more harm than good
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Strategies of Breaking Up: Justification
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usually involves a full explanation and reasons for termination
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Strategies of Breaking Up: Behavioral De-Escalation
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indirect, avoid, interact less frequently
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Strategies of Breaking Up: De-Escalation
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break off for a while
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How we distance ourselves from the other: physically
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try to put more space between ourselves and our relational partner
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How we distance ourselves from the other: psychologically/emotionally
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start to perceive the person differently, think differently
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How we distance ourselves from the other: communication patterns
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our communication changed as we begin to distance ourselves
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How we distance ourselves from the other: communication patterns
vague, general,non-specific |
don't talk about anything new
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How we distance ourselves from the other: communication patterns
nonimmediacy |
less intimate info exchange
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How we distance ourselves from the other: communication patterns
disassociation |
don't see yourself with the person like you used to
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Communication Patterns After Termination: Unproductive cognitive and communication patterns
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hoping and praying to get the other person back - escapist
emotional upheaval alone and lonely rumination - focusing on symptoms of distress |
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Communication Patterns After Termination: Improving communication after termination
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keep busy
think of the future - don't look back bolster yourself - esteem focus outward rather than inward get help if you need it |
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Belt-Lining
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Saying things that "hit below the belt" emotionally. these are messages intended to directly hurt the other person. they are typically aspects they can't easily change about themselves
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Gunny-Sacking
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Storing up old irritations until you can't hold it in anymore and he "gunny-sack" explodes. you lose your temper and dump on your partner. the behavior that triggered the explosion may be totally out of proportion to the size of the explosion
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Kitchen-Sink Fighting
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Letting them have it with everything you can think of. Bringing up old topics, every slight you have felt, every little thing they have ever done
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Principle of Least Interest
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the person who cares the least about the relationship will have the greatest amount of control
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Principle of Most Relational Alternatives
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the person who has the most relational alternatives will be the most dominant
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Principle of Resource Control
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the person who controls most of the relational resources is dominant
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