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32 Cards in this Set

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Content Level of Relationship Messages
What the message actually communicates, or the behaviors a message communicates.
Relationship Level of Relationship Messages
Tells us how to interpret the content; may contain some important relationship information. Can be verbal/nonverbal.
Name 3 specific occasions when we tune in highly to relationship messages.
1. When a message drastically violates our expectations. 2. During relationships that are characterized by high levels of intensity. 3. When disagreements and conflicts arise.
How people talk about relationships in terms of *work*.
The effort involved, the sacrifices, the energy needed, etc.
How people talk about relationships in terms of *commitment*.
Both the commitment necessary to begin a relationship and the commitment needed to sustain it.
How people talk about relationships in terms of *involvement*.
Time spent together, the quantity and quality of talk, sharing, etc.
Name 3 themes of involvement.
Communal themes: talk about togetherness, interdependence.
Individual themes: talk emphasizing separate identities and roles.
Impersonal themes: factors or forces outside of the relationship which are believed to be responsible for shaping it.
How people talk about relationships in terms of *Unique/Special*.
People talk about how their relationship is unique or special.
How people talk about relationships in terms of "Manipulation".
One partner controlling the other for personal gains.
How people talk about relationships in terms of "Consideration/Respect".
See term.
How people talk about relationships in terms of "Journey of Discovery".
People describe their relationship as a developing journey of discovery.
How people talk about their relationships interms of a game.
see term.
How people talk about their relationships in terms of "Risky and potentially dangerous."
see term.
How people talk about their relationships in terms of "A system of bargaining and tradeoffs".
See term.
Name ten ways in which people talk about their relationships.
Work, commitment, involvement (communal, individual, impersonal(outside factors)), unique, manipulation, respect, journey of discovery, a game, risky and potentially dangerous, and a system of bargaining and tradeoffs.
The Assumption of Consistency
1. (“But that’s not what you said yesterday”) 2. Having others be consistent is valued in our society. 3. It helps us make useful predictions about others. Helps us to know how to interact with them. 4. We don’t like it when people point out inconsistencies in our behavior (since we may not perceive it to be an inconsistency).
The Assumption of Simple Meaning
1. (“Well, you said it, so you must have meant it!”) 2. We can’t rely solely on what the words say alone 3. Mostly we mean several things at once 4. e.g., saying “You’re crazy!” (the meaning depends on context and relationship)
The Assumption of Communicator Independence
1. (“It wasn’t my fault.”) 2. We often talk about our relationships as if our own behavior had nothing to do with what the other person did. 3. There is actually communicator interdependence.
4. E.g., recognizing that communication problems are the result of mutual contributions.
The Assumption of Obvious Causation
1. (“You can’t fool me, I know why you said what you did.”)
2. We are often too quick to jump to assumptions about why someone said something.
3. Be careful about assuming other’s reasons for behaving and communicating in a certain way.
The Assumption of Finality
1. (“That settles it.”)
2. People can reach a compromise when they disagree, but the issue may arise again in some other form. It could come up again in minutes, months, or even years later. 3. Sometimes we act like something is finished because we don’t want to deal with it anymore, but in reality, it isn’t actually finished.
Dimensions of Communication: Narrow-Broad
Breadth of interaction. Range of topics discussed, and how much information about those topics you reveal.
Dimensions of Communication: Stylized-Unique
Interacting to the point where the person becomes an invidual in our mind, rather than someone of a larger society. Dropping the handshake.
Dimensions of Communication: Difficult-Efficient
As relationship grows, there is increased accuracy, speed, ad efficiency in our communication.
Dimensions of Communication: Rigid-Flexible
Refers to the number of different ways any given idea or feeling can be communicated.
Dimensions of Communication: Awkward-Smooth
As knoledge of the other person increases, predictive ability also increases. Greater synchronization.
Dimensions of Communication: Public-Personal
"Depth" of social interaction. Don't reveal much when just getting to know people, generally, based on relationship. True for verbal and nonverbal communication.
Dimensions of Communication: Hesitant-Spontaneous
Meeting new people generally accompanied by hesitancy. As we become more comfortable, we can be more spontaneous.
Dimensions of Communication: Overt-Judgment Given, Suspended-Overt Judgment
The closer the relationship, the greater the likelihood of freely giving and receiving positive and negative feedback. Being able to speak one's mind, instead of concealing one's judgment.
Name three aspects of patterns and variations in relationships.
A. As relationships become more intimate, communication becomes more personalized. B. As relationships become more intimate, people perceive communication behaviors to become increasingly more synchronized C. Both intimate and non-intimate relationships have elements of difficulties, or “barriers,” to effective communication. D. The communication styles of our friends.
Describe personalized communication.
a) Telling another person things we don’t tell most people – feelings, secrets, personal things.
b) Relying on a greater variety of channels for sending and receiving messages – including nonverbal channels. c) Cultivating and using messages that are more personal to the interacting pair only.
Describe synchronized communication.
a) Conversations that are smooth-flowing, effortless, spontaneous, relaxed, informal, and well-coordinated.
Describe difficult communication.
a) A general strain, difficulty, and awkwardness of interaction.