Ch 8

Front 1

Relationship Maintenance

Back 1

what partners do to keep their relationship functioning
they way they deal with conflict, small talk, affection, etc

Front 2

intimacy

Back 2

Latin for "to make known" and "innermost"
some people equate it with self-disclosure

Front 3

3 dimensions of self disclosure

Back 3

1) Information - how many ppl know it
2) Expectations for Self - high/low perceived risk
3) Expectation for Other - reciprocated, understood, told to others?

Front 4

Self-Disclosure as Catharsis

Back 4

communicative release
get it off your chest

Front 5

Self-Disclosure as "The Need to Be Open"

Back 5

truth is king
you must "tell it like it is"

Front 6

Self-Disclosure as a Communication Strategy

Back 6

goal is to get something

Front 7

Self-Disclosure as Manipulation

Back 7

to hurt, shock, embarrass, encourage reciprocation

Front 8

Trust is composed of 3 primary perceptions:

Back 8

1)predictability
2)dependability
3)faith

Front 9

Questions to ask before lying in a relationship:

Back 9

1) Will this lie help us both?
2) Is the lie consistent with the rules of fairness in the relationship?
3) Does your partner (the lied to) believe you have his or her best interest at heart?

Front 10

mutual influence

Back 10

it is easy to condemn lies that we feel we had no part in.
ex of party hostess and her guests

Front 11

multiple exposure

Back 11

lies to people we don't see that often

Front 12

quite familiar with one another's behavior

Back 12

detection accuracy?

Front 13

Anxiety Response

Back 13

blushing, shaking, gulping, sweating, voice tremors, etc

Front 14

Excessive Response

Back 14

go beyond the boundaries of normal behavior for the individual
overreacting

Front 15

Incongruous Responses

Back 15

getting one's story mixed up, sending the wrong cues,
contradicting oneself

Front 16

Indirect Responses

Back 16

answering a question with a question, changing the subject, vagueness

Front 17

Profitable construction conflict may:

Back 17

1)Increase understanding
2) clarify dis/similarities
3) assist coping
4) reveal problems

Front 18

Withdrawal

Back 18

both parties want to flee conflict
view themselves as martyrs.

Front 19

Escalation

Back 19

both parties want to fight rather than flee

Front 20

Tactics for constructive conflict:

Back 20

1) identify/state source of conflict
2) methods of information exchange and methods of encoding

Front 21

hidden grievance

Back 21

the real grievance is hidden because the trigger for the conflict is only a distant and minute manifestation of a deep issue.
ex: tv example

Front 22

Most common marital dispute topics:

Back 22

money, communication, sex

Front 23

Statement labeling

Back 23

identification of a statement as a fact, feeling, or inference

Front 24

negative problem talk

Back 24

the problem is presented in such a way that the speaker's position on the problem overshadows the problem itself
ex: nasty tones, sarcasm, pessimism, etc

Front 25

negative solution talk

Back 25

presenting unreasonable, unrealistic, impractical solutions

Front 26

mindreading

Back 26

assumption of complete knowledge of the other person's thoughts and motives

Front 27

critical talk

Back 27

evaluating oneself or one's partner by focusing on the flaws

Front 28

Listening talk

Back 28

talk which shows you have at least heard and perhaps understood the message

Front 29

positive problem talk

Back 29

attempts to provide information about the problem in a focused, specific, and relatively neutral manner

Front 30

After the fight:

Back 30

1) confrontation is periodically reviewed (after cooling off)
2) Reassurance rituals follow the argument (unity)
3) forecasts and tests are presented to one another (hypothetical situations)