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66 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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What is love? |
-Seen as early as Late Egyptian empire and the Hebrews -The middle ages glorified romantic love and unrequited love (loving another when the love will never be returned) |
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Romantic Love |
Passionate love that includes sexual desire, attraction, and elation |
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Companionate Love |
Deep affection, attachment, ease with partner, trust, loyalty |
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The Colors of Love created by? |
John Alan Lee |
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Eros |
Romantic Love |
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Ludus |
the art of seduction or game-playing |
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Storge |
quiet, calm love that builds over time, as in friendship love |
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Mania |
consumed by thoughts of the beloved, highs and lows |
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Pragma |
Realistic, practical love |
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Agape |
altruistic, selfless, never demanding, patient love |
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Love triangles by? |
Robert Sternberg -Made up of 3 basic elements |
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Passion |
sparked by physical attraction and sexual desire; drives a person to pursue a romantic relationship |
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Intimacy |
closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in a loving relationship |
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Commitment |
the decision to love someone for the long term |
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Sternberg combines these elements into 7 forms of love |
1. Nonlove 2. Liking 3. Infatuation 4. Empty love 5. Romantic love 6. Companionate love 7. Fatuous love |
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Nonlove |
Absence of all three elements |
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Liking |
intimacy only- friendships |
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Infatuation |
passion only |
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Empty love |
commitment only |
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Romantic love |
passion and intimacy |
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companionate love |
intimacy and commitment |
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Fatuous love |
passion and commitment |
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Consummate love |
passion, intimacy, and commitment; the ideal form of love |
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Can we measure love? |
3 scales |
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Loving scale (Zick Rubin) |
Measured three components of attachment: Degrees of Needing, caring, and trusting |
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Relationship Rating Scale (Keith Davis) |
Measures six aspects of relationships such as intimacy, passion, and conflict |
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Passionate Love Scale (Hatfield and Sprecher) |
Tries to measure the degree of intense passion |
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Behavioral Reinforcement Theories |
We like people we associate with feeling good and love people is the association is very good; love develops through mutually reinforcing activities |
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Cognitive Theories |
Based on the paradox of the less people are paid for a task, the more they tend to like it; Action comes first and interpretation later |
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Physiological Arousal Theories |
People are vulnerable to experiencing love when they are physiologically aroused for whatever reason; Love is physiological reaction similar to fear, anger, or excitement |
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Evolutionary Perspectives |
Love creates the union that maximizes each partner's chance of passing on their genes to the next generation; Developed out of 3 basic human instincts of need for protection from external threats, instinct to protect child, sexual drive |
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Biological Theories |
pheromones are secreted by humans and animals and can influence choice of sexual partners; More likely to be attracted and fall in love with someone whose MHC is different from our own |
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Childhood-Love from childhood to maturity |
the nature and quality of the bond of child and caregiver can have profound effects on the ability of the person to form attachments throughout life |
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Secure attachment |
Caregiver responds if baby cries or needs them, thus the secure adult easily gets close to others and is not threatened when a lover goes away |
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Anxious/Ambivalent attachment |
baby cries and panics when caregiver leaves them, and as adults they worry their partner doesn't really love them or will leave them |
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Avoidant attachment |
babies have caregivers who are uncomfortable with affection and tend to force separation on a child, leaving them as an adult to be uncomfortable with intimacy and trust |
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Adolescence |
teaches us how to react to love, manage emotions, and handle pain of love |
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Role Repertoire |
set of behaviors we use in our interactions with others |
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Intimacy Repertoire |
set of behaviors we use to forge close relationships |
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Proximity |
likely to find partners among the people you know or see around you |
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Similarity |
similar educational levels, political opinion, religious background, etc increase likelihood of finding a partner |
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Physical attraction |
The Matching Hypothesis: claims that people are drawn to others with similar physical traits as themselves |
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Personality |
Traits such as openness, sociability, sense of humor, and receptivity are important |
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Economic Resources |
financial stability is another thing people are attracted to |
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Mutual Attraction and Love |
men and women both want partners with similar interests, values, and beliefs |
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Attraction in Different Cultures |
David Buss (1989) looked at men and women in 37 cultures |
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Men valued: |
good looks in a partner more than women |
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Women valued: |
good financial prospects more than men |
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Men preferred vs. women |
Partners who were younger vs. older |
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Self-disclosure |
sharing feelings, dreams, fears- not just facts and opinions |
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Male and Female Styles of Intimacy |
-Men and women report equally desiring and valuing intimacy -Men grow up with behavioral inhibitions to expressing intimacy -Men are just as intimate as women but express intimacy differently |
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Intimacy in Different Cultures |
-Culture is more powerful than gender on love beliefs -Passionate love is emphasized in individualistic countries, such as US, and deemphasized in collectivistic cultures like China -Strength of stereotypical gender role affected levels of intimacy across cultures:stronger the stereotype, the less attached couples were |
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Long-term Love and Commitment |
-Requires effort, commitment, and maturity to maintain love -Long-term relationships tend to fail because couple stopped working on relationship |
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Loss of Love |
-people experience in different ways -vulnerability is high -self-blame, loss of self-esteem, and distrust -No easy solution exists in decreasing pain -Finding new activities, being with friends, and change in routine may ease pain |
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Love and Sex |
-one way to express deep love and intimacy -before beginning a sexual relationship: think of values, be honest with yourself and partner -may or may not be about feelings of love or attachment -casual sex more accepted than 35-40 years ago |
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Full Body Synchronization |
As we become attracted to someone, and intimacy unfolds, partners have same facial expressions, posture, and breathing |
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Self-love |
love for oneself, instinct or desire to promote one's well-being |
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Receptivity |
we show others we are approachable by smiling and eye contact |
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Listening |
give your full attention; learning to listen enhances intimacy |
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Affection |
shows that you feel a sense of warmth and security with your partner |
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trust |
develops slowly |
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respect |
acknowledging and understanding your partner's needs, even if you don't share them |
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Jealousy |
emotional reaction to relationship that is being threatened |
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dark side of love |
-men are more jealous when they think their partner has had a sexual encounter with another man -women are often more focused on emotional or relationship aspects of infidelity -Longer we are in relationship with someone, vulnerability to jealousy decreases
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Compulsiveness |
-Being in love is like a drug: it produces a sense of ecstasy, euphoria, and a feeling of well-being -Love addiction could be a continuation of adolescent love that just never fully matures
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Possessiveness |
-exists when one partner to control the other's behavior through withdrawing or manipulating love -sign of an abusive relationship and can lead to stalking |
