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39 Cards in this Set
- Front
- Back
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Opening line.
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Harper:
Washington? |
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Joe:
It's an incredible honor, buddy, and... |
Harper:
I have to think. |
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Joe:
Of course. |
Harper:
Say no. |
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Joe:
You said you were going to think about it. |
Harper:
I don't want to move to Washington. |
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Joe:
Well I do. |
Harper:
It's a giant cemetery, huge white graves and mausoleums everywhere. |
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Joe:
We could live in Maryland. Or Georgetown. |
Harper:
We're happy here. |
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Joe:
That's not really true, buddy, we... |
Harper:
Well, happy enough! Pretend-happy. That's better than nothing. |
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Joe:
It's time to make some changes, Harper. |
Harper:
No changes. Why? |
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Joe:
I've been chief clerk for four years. I make twenty-nine thousand dollars a year. That's ridiculous. I graduated fourth in my class and I make less than anyone I know. And I'm... I'm tired of being made a clerk, I want to go where something good is happening. |
Harper:
Nothing good happens in Washington. We'll forget church teachings and buy furniture at... at Conran's and become yuppies. I have too much to do here. |
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Joe:
Like what? |
Harper:
I do have things. |
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Joe:
What things? |
Harper:
I have to finish painting the bedroom. |
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Joe:
You've been painting in there for over a year. |
Harper:
I know, I... It just isn't done because I never get time to finish it. |
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Joe:
Oh that's... that doesn't make sense. You have all the time in world. You could finish it when I'm at work. |
Harper:
I'm afraid to go in there alone. |
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Joe:
Afraid of what? |
Harper:
I heard someone in there. Metal scraping on the wall. A man with a knife, maybe. |
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Joe:
There's no one in the bedroom, Harper. |
Harper:
Not now. |
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Joe:
Not this morning, either. |
Harper:
How do you know? You were at work this morning. There's something creepy about this place. Remember Rosemary's Baby? |
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Joe:
Rosemary's Baby? |
Harper:
Our apartment looks like that one. Wasn't that apartment in Brooklyn? |
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Joe:
No, it was... |
Harper:
Well, it looked like this. It did. |
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Joe:
Then let's move. |
Harper:
Georgetown's worse. The Exorcist was in Georgetown. |
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Joe:
The devil, everyone you turn, huh, buddy? |
Harper:
Yeah. Everywhere. |
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Joe:
How many pills today, buddy? |
Harper:
None. One. Three. Only three. |
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Joe:
Look, I know this is scary for you. But try to understand what it means to me. Will you try? |
Harper:
Yes. |
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Joe:
Good. Really try. I think things are starting to change in the world. |
Harper:
But I don't want... |
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Joe:
Wait. For the good. Change for the good. America has . . . I mean, six years ago the world seemed in decline, horrible, hopeless, full of unsolvable problems and crime and confusion and hunger and... |
Harper:
But it still seems that way. More now than before. They say the ozone layer is... |
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Joe:
Harper... |
Harper:
And today out the window on Atlantic Avenue there was a schizophrenic traffic cop who was making these... |
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Joe:
Stop it! I'm trying to make a point. |
Harper:
So am I. |
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Joe:
You aren't even making sense, you... |
Harper:
My point is the world seems just as... |
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Joe:
It only seems that way to you because you never go out in the world, Harper, and you have emotional problems. |
Harper:
I do so get out in the world. |
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Joe:
You don't. You stay in all day, fretting about imaginary... |
Harper:
I get out. I do. You don't know what I do. |
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Joe:
You don't stay in all day. |
Harper:
No. |
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Joe:
Well... Yes you do. |
Harper:
That's what you think. |
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Joe:
Where do you go? |
Harper:
Where do you go? When you walk? (pause) And I DO NOT have emotional problems. |
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Joe:
I'm sorry. |
Harper:
And if I do have emotional problems it's from living with you. Or... |
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Joe:
I'm sorry buddy, I didn't mean to... |
Harper:
Or if you do think I do then you should never have married me. You have all these secrets and lies. |
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Joe:
I want to be married to you, Harper. |
Harper:
You shouldn't. You never should. (Pause) Hey buddy. Hey buddy. |
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Joe:
Buddy kiss... (Kiss.) |
Harper:
I heard on the radio how to give a blowjob. |
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Joe:
What? |
Harper:
You want to try? |
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Joe:
You really shouldn't listen to stuff like that. |
Harper:
Mormons can give blowjobs. |
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Joe:
Harper. |
Harper:
Joe. It was a little Jewish lady with a German accent. This is a good time. For me to make a baby. Then they went on to a program about holes in the ozone layer. Over Antarctica. Skin burns, birds go blind, icebergs melt. The world's coming to an end. |
