A Midsummer Nights Dream

Front 1

Quince: Is everyone here?

Back 1

You: You should call their names generally, one person at a time, in the order in which they appear on this piece of paper.

Front 2

Quince: This is a list of all the people in Athens who are good enough to preform for the duke and duchess on their wedding night

Back 2

You: First, Peter Quince, tell us what the play is about, then read the names of the actors, and then shut up

Front 3

Quince: All right. Our play is called, A VERY TRAGIC COMEDY ABOUT THE HORRIBLE DEATHS OF PYRAMUS AND THISBE.

Back 3

You: Let me tell you its a great piece of work, and very-- funny.-- now Peter Quince, call the names of the actors on the list, men gather around him.

Front 4

Quince: Answer when i call your name.-- Nick Bottom, the weaver?

Back 4

You: Here! Tell me which part I'm going to play, then go on.

Front 5

Quince: You, Nick Bottom, have been cast as Pyramus.

Back 5

You: Whats Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant?

Front 6

Quince: A Lover who kills himself very nobly for love.

Back 6

You: I’ll have to cry to make my performance believable. And as soon as I start crying, oh boy, the audience had better watch out, because they’ll start crying too. I’ll make tears pour out of their eyes like rainstorms. I’ll moan very believably.—Name the other actors.—But I’m really in the mood to play a tyrant. I could do a great job with Hercules, or any other part that requires ranting and raving. I would rant and rave really well. Like this, listen.
 The raging rocks
 nd shivering shocks
 Will break the locks
 Of prison gates.
 And the sun-god’s car
 Will shine from far
 Away, and make and mar
 Foolish fate.
Oh, that was truly inspired!—Now tell us who the other actors are.—By the way, my performance just now was in the style of Hercules, the tyrant style. A lover would have to be weepier, of course.

Front 7

Quince: (After talking to Flute for a few lines) That doesn't matter, you'll wear a mask, and you can make your voice as high as you want to.

Back 7

You: In that case, if I can wear a mask, let me play Thisbe too! I’ll be Pyramus first: “Thisne, Thisne!”—And then in falsetto: “Ah, Pyramus, my dear lover! I’m your dear Thisbe, your dear lady!”

Front 8

Quince: No, no. Bottom, your Pyramus.-- And Flute, your Thisbe.

Back 8

You: All right. Go on.

Front 9

Quince: (After talking to Snug for a few lines) You can improvise the whole thing, its lust roaring.

Back 9

You: Let me play the lion too. I’ll roar so well that it’ll be an inspiration to anyone who hears me. I’ll roar so well that the duke will say, “Let him roar again. Let him roar again.”

Front 10

Quince: If you roar too ferociously, you’ll scare the duchess and the other ladies and make them scream. And that would get us all executed.

Back 10

All:Yeah, that would get every single one of us executed.

Front 11

All:Yeah, that would get every single one of us executed.

Back 11

You: Well, my friends, you’ve got to admit that if you scare the living daylights out of the ladies, they’d have no choice but to execute us. But I’ll soften my voice—you know, aggravate it, so to speak—so that I’ll roar as gently as a baby dove. I’ll roar like a sweet, peaceful nightingale.

Front 12

Quince: You can’t play any part except Pyramus. Because Pyramus is a good-looking man, the most handsome man that you could find on a summer’s day, a lovely gentlemanly man. So you’re the only one who could play Pyramus.

Back 12

You: Well then I'll do it. What kind of beard should i wear for the part?

Front 13

Quince: Whatever kind you want, I guess.

Back 13

You: Ill play the part wearing a straw colored beard, or a sandy beard, or a red beard, or one of those bright yellow beards thats the color of the french coin!

Front 14

Quince: Some french people don't have beards at all (...) Now make sure you show up, all of you. Don't leave me hanging.

Back 14

You: We'll be there, and there we'll rehearse courageously and wonderfully, truly obscenely. Work hard, Know your lines, Goodbye.

Front 15

Quince: We'll meet at the giant oak tree in the dukes forrest.

Back 15

You: Got it? Be there or don't show your face again! (Exeunt)