By toxic, I mean everybody who ever tried to bring me down or made me feel less of a human for the way I felt about all kinds of different things in life. I told myself that I couldn’t live feeling like I was all the time, sad, unwanted, failure, heartbroken, etc. I tried to change things around at the time, but unfortunately things became worse. I continued to get bullied. This left me feeling unwanted and alone. I could feel myself losing control, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. Soon after being bullied took place, I got held hostage of another person’s life. I had automatically been abused mentally and emotionally. I felt as if I was a bad person because I was so unhappy being with this person, I decided I wanted to make a change and get that person out of my life. That backfired on me though, making me feel terrible because my decision was so selfish it made another person want to end their life. I couldn’t live with the thought that I had made another person feel so low of themselves, so I soon then tried to end my life for the first time in my life and my attempt to suicide …show more content…
Struggling with my social life, family, school/education, was not going to cut it anymore. Going into my senior year of high school, I decided that I wanted to graduate ahead of my class. I graduated 6 months early and received my diploma. From the moment I got out of school, I decided that I wanted to work full time so I worked 3 full time jobs, Mackenzie River Co, Archibald Company, and Alexa Anderson Photography. During the process of working full time I had met a co-worker named Tiana Korang whom had become my best friend throughout the months of getting to know her. Tiana and I became such good friends we decided to start traveling to her. In April of 2015 we had traveled to Mesa, Arizona. After we had got back, she moved to Valdez, Alaska. 4 months later, in August 2015, I traveled to Anchorage, Alaska where I was reunited with my best friend. A week later when I traveled back to Montana, school started. After school started, being my first year of college at Montana Tech University, I started to get a horrible feeling back in my chest that I would like to call anxiety. I started to stress about everything and then I soon just gave up my first week of school. My 2nd suicide attempt came in place. This time was more serious than the first. I failed this attempt. Right after my failed attempt became the biggest change in my life that I had learned yet. I